Starting Over
by Da'khari
Summary: Mercy Jones has hit a wall in her life, her long term relationship has turned into a disaster so, her best friend Tina decides she needs a night out, little did they know it was going to lead to Mercy starting all over again, in more ways than one
1. Chapter 1

**Starting Over**

"Forget him come lets go let our hair down" Tina pulled at Mercy's sleeve eager for her to forget that love rat she'd just ditched

"Truth be told, I really don't want to forget him" Mercy told her friend

"You know he's going to be at the club tonight, pretending to be all that, you show him what he's not got anymore, make him the talk of the town instead of you"

"I really don't care about what people say about me that much" Mercy hung onto her no stance telling her best friend

"Well I'm hacked off that Artie's away for three months, come out to cheer me up then"

"Bitch please that happens like every four months, it's the way you guys live" Mercy laughed

"Are you really going to make me beg?" Tina gave her the puppy eyes asking

"Okay tonight" Mercy held her hand up telling her "And then not again for another three months I hate the hassle of going out"

"I know this" Tina smiled grabbing Mercy's hands "But girl you look fierce when you make that effort"

"I can't deny that" she smiled "9pm?"

"Yep"

"I have to go get that fierce on" Mercy giggled kissing her friends cheek before leaving to do just that

** 21:30**

The were stood outside the club, dresses regular short, tops sexy low and shoes stab in the eye sharp, they were up for fun tonight, fun was the aim of the game and it was Mercy's task to get as many written numbers as she could. the night started with shots and by shot five, Tina was getting loud, Mercy was giggling a lot and still not one guy had been approached for a number

"Mercy" Tina shouted as two guys walked past nodding in their direction telling her to go for it

"I don't like them" she shook her head delaying the game

"It's a fucking number" Tina told her

"Let's dance" Mercy changed the subject looking down at the dancefloor as she spoke "Shit" she hissed at seeing Noah stood dancing with some random, his hands all over her, she knew what was on his mind, they'd been there so many times before themselves, he'd moved on quick or maybe that bitch was already waiting on the side lines "I need some air" she told Tina "Back in a bit" she got up and left the booth

Tina took a while to figure out that Noah was rocking away with his next conquest on the dancefloor "Shit" she hissed jumping up to go find Mercy, she wasn't outside like she'd said she'd be, so Tina checked the bathroom, no sign of her there so she called her phone "Mercy, where are you?" she asked when she answered

"Sorry T, I can't sit there and watch him doing that, I've gone home"

"Thanks for leaving me on my own" Tina snapped at her

"Sorry"

"It's alright, I'll get Noah to see me home, make sure nothing happens there" she laughed

"Thanks and sorry again" Mercy told her before closing the call

Tina sat around for a while watching Noah play his game she knew he was in with this girl, she could tell from his moves, she smiled before getting up to go mess all that up "Noah" she tapped his back, watching his face jump out of the girls cleavage "I need a ride home"

"What?" he turned to look at his best friends wife "Ti can you not get a taxi?"

"Can you tell Artie how you left his wife out at past 11 at night on her own to get raped?" she asked putting her hands on her hips as she spoke

"Give me five" he rolled his eyes turning back to the girl he was all over "Tina this is Santana"

"Santana" she looked at the woman fake smiling

"We'll drop you off on the way" he told Tina

"What you're taking her home?" Tina asked shocked

"Maybe I should have said this is Santana my girlfriend" Noah smiled looking back at Santana as he spoke

"Maybe you should have said you just finished with my girl about five seconds ago?" Tina hissed at him

"She finished with me, if I remember rightly, and I'm so done with her drama"

"Take me home" Tina turned and walked off before he could answer, he grabbed Santana's hand and followed his best friends wife out, like a child that had just been told off

**Mercy **

Mercy had gone outside and took the deepest breath, she felt like she hadn't taken one since seeing Noah wrapped up in another girl, four years of, what she thought was a meaningful relationship down the drain in the blink of an eye, he swore he'd always be faithful but that always proves super impossible for him there was always a kiss, a date sometimes even infidelity to forgive and she'd just about had enough of it when he'd actually started lying to her about his shit. She'd found out about him sleeping with the local bike ad he'd denied it to his grave only for her to find out from Tina that it was true, he'd asked her to believe him and not Tina and the evidence was so in her face she had to go with Tina, of course she left him

"Hey" she called seeing some guys robbing some old drunk that was laid out on the bench at the gates of the church across the road from the club "hey" she made her way across to the bench watching the four youths run as she neared.

When she go there it wasn't an old drunk as she'd thought it was a young guy, she didn't recognise him as a local but he was clearly knocked out, an empty bottle of brandy at the side of the bench telling her he'd downed the lot and now lay unconscious "Hey" she nudged him concerned that if he stayed there all night he'd be beaten again "Hey" she pushed him harder, smiling when he grunted "You need to go home" she told the stranger

"Home" he huffed his head nodding aimlessly before he was back asleep

"Shit" she brushed his hair back off his face and smiled at it, he was cute "Let's..." she searched his pockets and found his wallet, smiling at the fact that those guys didn't get too much from him. Opening it up she found his drivers licence and a gold card and thought even if he had a car around here there was no way he was driving it home, she lifted her hand and called a cab, woke him up as much as she could and eventually got him in it "I have a disposable bag" she told the driver, taking it out of her purse, smiling at the evidence of the night she'd expected for herself tonight "2367 The Cove please" she read the address from his licence

She sat looking at him sleeping, smiling at herself for being a good Samaritan yet again, it was one of her best traits, she gasped when his head fell in her lap, before smiling as she stoked his hair trying to make him feel safe. It was a good twenty five minutes before the cab came to a halt and the driver turned on the lights for his payment, she got him out but found no keys to get him inside "At least you're home Mr" she told him looking around as she put him on the bench on his porch "Bye" she smiled and walked away

"Where to?" the driver asked, listening to her mumble her address

"Is that how much this cost?" she looked at the meter asking him, shocked it had taken nearly all her spend for the night "I need to grab my card when I get home I didn't bring enough money" she told him

"Really?" the driver asked, not believing her

"No seriously, I have the money at home" she told him

"That" he grabbed the $40 "Will get you maybe a mile away from that address you gave me"

"Fine" she huffed thinking that was maybe 10 miles closer than she was right now

**23:00**

"Thanks for leaving a poor defenceless woman on the streets at midnight, hope your conscience is clear" she banged the cab door as she left, watching him drive off before she suddenly felt vulnerable, she started of in the direction of home, she had almost four blocks to clear to get there, there were people dotted around at a local bar and groups of people as she walked down the first block. The second block was quieter she was walking further into seclusion, she gripped her purse, and cursed the decision she'd made earlier to leave her car at home "Who's there?" she jumped at a rustle, grabbing her chest waiting for someone to jump out, and breathing again when a cat came out "Damn" she walked faster towards her home

Block three was earie there wasn't even a light on in a window every sound made her heart jump, there was a bang that made the hair on her skin stand to attention "Who's there?" she asked "I have spray" she lied looking in her bag for anything resembling spray. Suddenly without warning she felt something cover her head, her throat was restricted and everything went numb, she screamed for maybe a second before something muffled her mouth almost cutting the side of her lips it was so tight, and she was lifted up. She was kicking and it felt like vices grabbed hold of her legs and tied them together with something that cut into her skin, the pain made her stop moving, her hands were being held at the wrists, there was more than one person holding her

"Put her in" she heard a male voice say "In the boot" she was crying, she was scared, in pain and knew how this nightmare was going to end

"Come on fresher" another voice said so she knew there were at least three of them, she felt her head hit something hard, opening her eyes for a second before everything went black.

She didn't know how long she'd been knocked out but when she woke up she was moving around, supposedly in the boot of a car and dance music was blasting from a speaker that seemed to be in the boot with her. She was aware of something tight around her neck and assumed it was whatever it was they'd thrown over her head, she made to check it when she realised her hands had been tied behind her back real tight and her arm was hurting. She felt safe for a second, if the car was still moving then they weren't attacking her, at best they'd leave her in the middle of nowhere for her to get back, at worst they'd rape and kill her and leave her body to rot in the woods somewhere. She had no sense of time so it might have been about 5 minutes or hours after she'd woke up that the car came to a standstill the voices became loud again, the music had been turned down, she smelt the air come into her space and knew she was outside somewhere

"Get her out" a male voice, different to the one's she'd heard earlier spoke so now she knew there were four of them, someone lifted her by her legs it felt like many hands touched her, then her arm and then she was being carried again. she felt herself jerk again before everything went black, when she woke up someone was on top of her invading her body, her legs were being held down and her arms were tied onto something above her "Number 6" the voice said as she felt a hot spray of thick liquid hit her skin, telling her she was naked, before she had time to process that someone was inside her

"God" she gasped praying for death, seconds before everything went black again

"Sorry" she heard the gentlest voice say in her ear as she came round "I'm so sorry, they forces us" the person obviously crying as they spoke, she heard footsteps fade into the distance and then nothing, she lay in silence feeling nothing but everything as pain shot through her body, everywhere hurt, her arms, head, neck, knee, thighs, insides everywhere. she daren't move she lay waiting for what was going to happen to her next for the longest time

**The Next Day **

**06:30**

"My God" she heard what seemed like an age later a female voice, panicked and horrified "Are you... oh my god" the woman gasped again "I'll call someone" Mercy made noise she didn't want anyone seeing her like this, she needed to clean up, go home and hide, this woman was putting this horrific thing on display for the whole town to see

"No" she screamed through the muffling cloth in her mouth, but it was too late the woman was talking to someone

"You'll be alright" the woman told her "Sorry I've been told not to touch anything, I can't touch you, but I'll stay with you until someone gets here"

Mercy didn't know what to think was this woman here to guard her until part two happened, who the hell had she called, what was going to happen to her next, her mind was in overload she blacked out with the pressure. When she woke up there was a woman talking to her telling her she was in an ambulance, that she'd be alright and asking if there was anyone she wanted her to get in contact with

"No" Mercy flashed her eyes open at the daylight peeping through

**12:00**

She was aware she was in hospital, and people were hovering over her "What's your name?" one of them asked

"Mercy"

"We'll need to question this Sam Evans, sorry Mercy but he's a big part of the investigation" DC Motto told her, she lay wondering how they knew about that and surmised that she must have been talking while she was asleep

"He's got nothing to do with it, I got out the cab about four blocks away from home, he was out of it, I'd be more than surprised if he managed to get up, round a gang up and follow my taxi all that way in his state" she flinched at the pain as she moved

"We have no other leads" DC Motto told her

"That's not even a lead" Mercy told them still unable to fully move because of bruising and cuts

"And you didn't see anything?"

"Nothing they grabbed me from behind and put something over my head I told you already" she told them angrily clipping the phone off when she saw Tina was trying to get hold of her "This isn't defining me, they're not stopping me from living my life I swear it" she spat trying to convince herself, her life was going to carry on

**Sam**

**09:00**

Sam woke up and looked around, smiling, he was impressed he'd made it home, yeah he'd only gotten to the porch but he was home, somehow he thought he'd drunk more than that. He sat up holding his head, trying to stop if from falling off or bursting open it was pounding so loud, he smiled because there was no ache in his heart, he'd done it, he'd got over his ex, this was a new start "Breakfast" he got up steadying his feet before stepping off, puling his key off his neck to get into his house. He fancied a fry up but opening his fridge he knew that wasn't going to happen, he opted for a shower before running to the shops and came out singing, the shower had done the job he was himself again. He grabbed his keys and opted for breakfast at his Mom's house, it was free and much better than shop brought, the 40 minute journey, with traffic, across town worth every minute for what he knew would be waiting for him on the other side

"Morning" he smiled kissing his Mom happy she was still in the kitchen

"Morning" she smiled taking his kiss "Let me guess, breakfast?"

"You know me so well" he laughed

"I'm your Mom" she told him grabbing for more eggs

His father has passed some years ago, he was an ice truck driver and got into a scrape that proved too much, his body was never recovered and although he remember the sorrow on the day they were told, life pretty much went back to normal a few days later. His Mom was never as happy as she was when his Dad was around but she wasn't as sad as he'd expected her to be, she always said it was something her and his Father knew was possible. One day she sat them down and told them they were well provided for, so they shouldn't worry about anything and their Father loved them and from then life just carried on

"Where's Stevie?" he asked stood leaning on the counter opposite the cooker watching his Mom cook

"He came down earlier said he wasn't well, I told him I'd call him when it was ready"

"I'll go see what's up" he stepped off to go see his little brother

"Dude" he opened his brother's bedroom door, laughing when Stevie jumped in shock "Mom said you're not well but you look more scared to me" he sat on his bed telling him "What's up?"

"I can't say" he told him

"What do you mean you can't say, you can tell me anything you know this" he shook his leg telling him "Hey, no secrets remember, I'm here to help"

"Will you protect me if I tell you?"

"Of course I will, who's bullying you?"

"Nobody I just need to go to a clinic"

"A clinic?" Sam screeched "What type of clinic?"

"You know what I mean" Stevie told him

"Hang on last week you were a virgin, you didn't even have a girl let alone to be thinking about anything like that, what happened?" he asked his 17 year old brother

"Fuck this, are you going to take me or do I need to ask someone else?" Stevie jumped up shouting at him

"Hold up" Sam grabbed his brother's t-shirt tight "I'll smash your fucking head in if you don't tell me what's happened" he wasn't an easy person when it came to Stevie he was dead set on making sure he grew right "I'm not in the mood to joke Stevie, this sounds serious tell me what's up"

"I wanted to be one of the guys, it's not a gang it's just... they have fun and I just wanted to have some fun too" he relaxed enough for Sam to know he was holding his t-shirt too tight

"Tell me what happened" he sat back letting go of Stevie's top

"At first I thought it was a game, they said snatch someone so we did, we thought we were going to do that and then just leave them somewhere and that would be it, but then we got to the woods and we took them out and then Bugg knocked her out"

"Bugg" Sam gasped "I thought we agreed you were going to keep away from that damn guy"

"Well I was with him last night"

"So then what happened?"

"They stripped her tied her up and well raped her, I was 9th and well I want to see if I've caught anything"

"9th?" Sam looked at him wondering if he was joking "Is this real?"

"Of course it's real, I'm scared I might have a disease or something"

"A disease?" Sam gasped "What about the poor girl you guys raped, how do you think she feels having unprotected sex with..."

"There were 11 of us"

"11 animals in one night, a prostitute has a hard time getting that many in one night, we're talking some innocent girl, just walking down the street"

"She wasn't really a girl she was around your age about 24ish"

"My God Stevie what have you done" he sat with his head in he hands "You'll have to tell the police, hand yourself in"

"I hand myself in and Mom's at risk, you know how they work" his eyes widened at the prospect of being an informer "Plus you promised me you wouldn't say anything"

"I promised to protect you and I can from those guys, but that woman..."

"Even when I'm locked up?" Stevie asked still only concerned about himself

"I don't agree or stand by anything you've done Stevie, but you're my little brother and I love you, so as long as you promise me that's the last time you'll hang with Bugg and his gooneys, I'll hold this secret of yours on my life"

"I promise"

"Come on let's get this breakfast Mom's slaved over eaten and get you to a clinic" Sam jumped up a bit scared for his brother but happy that chapter of his life was over.

"This is a new day new life for me" Stevie told him, he sounded sincere

"It better be you break this and all bets are off" Sam told him as they walked

They had breakfast, made their excuses and left the house for the clinic, did the tests and after a two hour wait Stevie got the all clear, Sam gave him the conversations before dropping him off home and making his way back to his own house

**14:00**

"Hello" he bent to look into the car parked outside his house when he arrived

"Sam Evans?" the woman asked

"Who wants to know?" he asked with attitude

"Detectives Motto and Chang" the woman answered showing her badge while pointing to the man sitting next to her "We just need to ask you some questions about last night"

"Last night?" Sam asked puzzled "Come on in" he told them stepping to the side to let them out the car "I can't promise I can tell you anything, I went to a club with my date, she found someone else and I got wasted" he walked them into his house telling them

"That's cold" DC Chang replied laughing

"She wasn't all that anyway, and I know I didn't drive last night, but I woke up on my porch this morning" he laughed "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No thank you" DC Change replied

"Water please" DC Motto smiled, watching him open the fridge and grab a bottle of water

"Do you need a glass with this?" he held the bottle up asking her

"No that's fine" she watched him walk over to her and smiled wider when he gave her the bottle "Thank you" she fluttered her eyelashes at him

"Please" DC Chang smiled at his swooning colleague before turning to address Sam "We need to know your movements last night when you left the club"

"Seriously I couldn't even tell you, I don't even remember leaving the club, I remember buying a bottle of JD and I was on a bench or something but after that, I blacked out, sorry" he looked from one DC to the other "What's all this about?"

"Someone was seriously assaulted last night and we believe they were with you for part of the night"

"Sorry I don't remember, I was out of it" his face concerned "Are they alright?"

"They're in hospital at the moment we'll know something later on"

"Sorry" he told them "How did you know I was connected to them?"

"A cab driver told us he'd taken her with you to this address"

"A girl brought me home?" he asked shocked

"Yes and on her way home she was …." DC Chang told him

"..And that's all we can tell you for now" DC Motto got up telling him looking disapprovingly at DC Chang "Will you be available for further questions if we need to see you again?"

"Yeah sure" Sam followed them to the door telling them, taking his phone out as he watched them drive away "Stevie" he whispered "Did you guys grab that woman from near my house?"

"No she was down town, why?"

"I just had the police here, some woman that brought me home last night, got assaulted, I didn't even know this neighbourhood was like that"

"It was a black girl, well built, false hair, and she screamed like..."

"I don't want to know the details" he stopped his brother "Just lay low and remember you promised to stay away from Bugg and the guys"

"Okay" he told him closing the call, Sam sat wondering if that was actually excitement he'd heard in his brothers voice as he started getting graphic about the disgusting events of last night, he shook his head to get the thought out, telling himself his brother was a good guy

**Mercy **

Two days later she was out of hospital, with a clean bill of health, bruising settling down and cuts healing, she hadn't said a word to her best friend, in fact Tina had gone off to spend three weeks with Artie, not even knowing that her best friend had been in hospital. The police were nowhere nearer to finding her abusers and she'd taken to arming herself with a knife. By day four the fact that the police hadn't got any news got to her, she brought herself a gun and started driving around the streets looking for the lowlifes herself, if no one else needed it she needed a day one, a new day. By week two she'd plucked up the courage, after a few practice shots, to drive the route again at the same time, it was the first night she'd been out since the incident, she drove slowly looking out for the bastards that were too scared to show their faces again, and even started to believe the DC's version of event, her mind was playing it's own game she had to see if this Sam Evans was really the rapist it was telling her he was, she grabbed her gun, phone, keys and went back to the address she'd dropped that Sam Evans off at

**Six Weeks After The Incident **

**Sam & Mercy **

She stood knocking the mesh waiting for someone to answer the door, frowning when that girl etched in her brain that Noah had been all over that night came to it "He's not available, can I take a message?" she asked

"Santana don't answer my damn door like you belong here" a voice followed her dialogue before Mercy could say anything "Sorry" the guy she'd saved that night came to the door, his face angry for what the bitch had just done, fast turned into a smile when their eyes met "Can I help you?" his voice softer

"Sam Evans?" Mercy asked

"Yes, how can I help?"

"I..." she looked at Santana not feeling comfortable to speak in front of her

"Santana will you get back to your damn whatever he is, and in front of a witness I'll tell you again, there is no us, and furthermore I'm not wasting the use of that good bottle of whiskey by taking you back"

"I'm not going to beg Sam"

"Please don't, just go" he stood in his doorway telling her, Mercy getting a great deal of pleasure from witnessing that bitch getting served, they both stood watching her walk away flinging her purse over her shoulder and looking back like she knew that wasn't the end of their conversation "Sorry about that"

"Bad breakup?" Mercy smiled

"I took enough of her shit you know, I think maybe I was in denial, thinking she was too good for me or something, but I know now she's not good enough for me, and that we were never right for each other" he smiled stepping aside for her to come in "Do you want a drink or something?"

"No thank you, I'm fine" she smiled, she'd come to that conclusion about Noah weeks ago

"So you know my name but I don't know yours"

"Mercy Jones" she smiled "I had the misfortune of putting us in a cab a while ago, I left you on the porch, pleased to see you survived the night"

"The mystery woman" he gasped "I thank you for that night I was totally freaked when I woke up that morning"

"I guess the police came to see you the next day about me?"

"What" his breath left him fast "Of course, that was you?" everything came back to him in a flash

"Yeah" she smiled nervously "And here I am putting myself in that situation again, I know, but I just needed to see you awake, tell myself you couldn't have followed me all the way home and got your friends to do that to me"

"God" Sam gasped "I'm deeply offended, I could never do anything like that to anybody, did he..."

"They, I was raped, repeatedly by many men according to the tests"

"God I'm so sorry I feel like I caused it" he sat down telling her "I didn't even think this area was like that"

"It wasn't around here, I live downtown, it was two blocks away from my house"

"My God" he held his face, mainly because he really didn't want to believe that this woman who had done him a kindness that night had been the victim of his own brother's initiation stunt "I feel awful"

"Don't" she smiled "I'm confident you had nothing to do with it"

"I..." it was on the tip of his tongue to tell the woman but his brother flashed across his mind and he quickly searched for something else to fill the gap he'd left "I can't believe that happened while I was, I'd call it asleep but I was out of it"

"Thankfully so was I for most of it, I don't think I'd have survived otherwise" she smiled "My friend Tina tells me regularly that my damn mouth will be the death of me" she laughed "I don't remember much about it but from the bruises and stuff I could pretty much put a picture together" she smiled brushing the whole thing off "Anyway was that an ex, you were binning when I got here?"

"Santana" he laughed "Yeah sorry about that, I was just fed up of starting over with girls, every time they come back I look at them and everything's starting again, I need to break that cycle"

"Do you think you can?"

"It's a life goal" he laughed

"I had an obsession too, I got used to hearing it's no ones fault, or you always think you know everything that's what gets me mad about you, or my personal favourite, I feel like I'm losing my mind with all this possessive shit you keep dealing me" she laughed "I finally got it, told him it had been a hell of a ride but with all my issues I think I need time on my own to sort them out, like a lifetime" and walked away

"Good for you" he laughed

"I better go, I'm talking too much" she got up telling him "I came to see if I could feel you were the one, I can't so I'll leave you in peace"

"I wish you wouldn't, I'd be happy if you came back to see me Mercy Jones, I feel like we have a connection" he stood up putting his hands in his pocket for feeling awkward about what to do with them "Can I give you my number?"

"Sure" she smiled talking her phone out to get his number, five minutes later she was gone

He just about watched the car leave the front of his drive before he shut the door and slapped himself in the chest "Bastard" he hissed unsure whether he was cursing his brother or himself, he should have told her, he should have pressed harder for Stevie to report it, he should have gone home that night and got drunk there, he shouldn't have been there with Santana in the first place. Every eventuality running through his mind as he stood feeling sick about what had happened to that girl, and the fact that his brother had everything to do with it. Anger set in when he realised he was faced with yet another dilemma, now he knew this woman, he knew his brother, and for whatever reason, he'd felt the need to give her his contact details and if it should happen that she decided to use it, the two could never meet, that would be too cruel.

**Mercy**

"Mercy" Tina banged her door shouting "I know you're in there open the damn door" it had been nearly seven weeks of excuses and time was up, Tina knew there was something going on, she suspected her girl had gotten back with Noah and was just too ashamed to tell after everything that went down about that mixed up mad man she's decided to give her heart to. "Mercy" she banged again

"Okay" she finally called down, watching Tina push the door as the release button sounded

"What the hell are you playing at?" Tina asked as she walked down the hallway towards her front door

"I'm not playing" Mercy's head popped out the door telling her friend "I've just been staying in"

"So much so you haven't been to work, the gym, night classes, what's going on? she asked pushing her way through her front door

"I was just having some me time" she stopped talking at Tina's face

"What the fuck is happening here?" Tina stood looking around the rubbish, half eaten food, clothes and dirty plates all over the living room

"I'm just having some me time" Mercy raked her messy hair up in her hands dragging the band off her wrist to put her hair up "I was thinking of cleaning today"

"Opposed to every other fucking day, Mercy what's going on?"

"Nothings going on, why does something have to be going on?"

"Seriously" Tina stood with her hands on her hips, her move telling Mercy she wasn't about to take any bull shit as she looked around the room "You better tell me what this is about or I'm on the phone to Shane in like ten seconds" she took her phone out telling her

The last thing Mercy needed right now as her big brother wading in with his army of bone head thugs to let the whole city know something had happened to his sister and he wanted blood "I'm just going through some stuff right now" she offered

"Some stuff for real" Tina gasped a giggle in her voice for Mercy's interpretation of the mess she was looking at "Well I've got all week to listen so..." she started picking things up to make a space on the couch to sit and listen

"I'm not ready to talk about it" she told her

"Well sad for you bitch because I'm ready to listen" her face telling her friend she was going nowhere "Is this because I didn't leave the club with you that night?"

"No"

"What because I went off to be with Artie for a few weeks?"

"No of course not" Mercy turned her back to her friend knowing she was trying to hold back on letting the words out of her mouth because once Tina knew the sympathy card was coming out and that really wasn't what she needed, she'd said it out loud to that Sam Evans guy and it had made it worse. Within a week she'd turned from this clean freak into what Tina was witnessing now, she really didn't have the will to care about herself or where she lived, everything had been sucked out of her, she was having a hard time remembering what life was all about for her

"Mercy I've seen you here before, is it Noah?"

"No it's not Noah" she spun round rolling her eyes at the mention of his name "I don't want sympathy, there's nothing you or anyone can do about it, I just want to say it out once, no details and leave it" she held her hands out as she spoke trying to make her wishes clear to her friend

"Okay" Tina's face serious, they'd never had a conversation like this before

"That night, when we went to the club"

"Yeah"

"I was raped"

"What" Tina's face shocked "But I called you, you told me you were on your way home"

"I was but I saw this guy getting beaten up and I helped him, took him to his house in a cab..."

"And he raped you?"

"No" she snapped "I didn't have enough money for the taxi back after that and the cab driver wouldn't believe that I had the money at home so I had to walk the last four block and I got raped"

"My God Mercy" Tina went towards her friend "I'm so sorry I feel responsible, I should have checked..."

"It wasn't your fault, I was dressed way too..."

"No don't think that, it wasn't your fault, that bastard deserves to..."

"It wasn't one there were a few of them, last count 9 and still testing"

"Oh my God" she grabbed hold of her friend "I'm sorry I've been so preoccupied and you've been going through this on your own" she looked around the room understanding more about the situation "I'm sure your therapist doesn't advise this"

"I haven't seen anyone"

"I know you think you can fight anything and to be honest girl from what I know of you, you can but this is big, it might hit you in ways you didn't even imagine you had in your character, you need to speak to a professional" she rolled her eyes at the response she knew she was going to get "And before you tell me different you do need it" she took her phone out determined "I know a really good Counsellor, she's not that local but she's good" she told her friend "We'll make an appointment"

"Tina" Mercy started to protest but was faced with her hand in her face telling to stop talking as she listened to Tina set up the appointment

"Okay we have an hour" Tina told her getting up to find her some clean clothes, before putting her in the bath and tidying her hair, she was near Mercy standard again before they walked out the door "It's alright" Tina grabbed her arm as she made to go back inside

"I don't need to talk to anyone" she told her friend

"We'll see when you get there" the journey was quiet

They sat in the waiting room for about twenty minutes before her name was called and Tina watched her friend walk off into the room of many secrets "Hello Mercy, I'm Emma Pillsbury..." she heard and the door closed. Tina sat reading magazine's listening to conversations and watching the TV sitting patiently waiting for Mercy to re-emerge, it was nearing three hours later when her friend appeared at the door. She sat watching as Mercy went to the reception and booked herself another couple of sessions for the week, before turning to smile at her

"Thank you" She hugged her friend telling her "I didn't even know I needed that"

"I'm glad it helped" Tina told her grabbing her hand to leave the building "What do you want to do now?"

"Clean that pit up and maybe attempt a kick start on my life again"

"Let's get onto that" Tina smiled "First stop groceries and cleaning products" she giggled happy her friend seemed to have turned a corner

The next two days were taken up with cleaning and light conversation, truth be told Tina didn't want Mercy to have time to get back into that funk she'd found her in, by the next visit she felt a bit more confident that Mercy had committed to taking control of things and by the third visit for that week she was comfortable enough to stay at her own house for the night

"Mercy" Tina walked into her apartment cautiously "Artie's called and..."

"Go T, I'll be fine honestly" she smiled "You can't say no to your hubby"

"I really don't want to leave you alone like this but..."

"I know honestly it's fine"

"I'll be gone for four weeks, but I'm on the end of a phone, please promise you'll call me, even for the stupidest thing?"

"I'll call I promise" Mercy hugged her watching her walk out the door, a feeling of being alone set in

She'd never been a person to make friends, she knew a hell of a lot of people but her neighbourhood was shady to say the least, and as quick as she made a friend there was something they were involved with that was going to jeopardise her career. Her Dad had been in the game, all be it forced, apparently her Mom was killed when, according to her Grandma, her Dad had used her as a human shield in a shootout, of course according to her Dad her Mom was protecting him against his instruction, and she could see that happening with some of the stories he used to tell her. She was sent off to live with her Grandma soon after at the age of 4 and saw her Dad regularly, even if it was just for her Grandma to cuss him out about one thing or another. Then one day he just didn't turn up like he said he was going to and, days later she was standing at his graveside in black, being told he was a good Dad, a hard working man and would be missed. Her Grandma took her away straight after the first bit of dirt hit the coffin and that was it, three years later when she was 17 her Grandma passed away and she suddenly had to grow up quickly. She found out she had an older brother called Shane, on her Dad's side, who took over their Dad's businesses but she got her Grandma's house, a load of money and two letters, one from her Dad and another from her Grandma. Both expressing love, the joy she gave and the hopes they had for her future, it was then she learned her Mom always wanted her to be a teacher and suddenly it became her life goal, and she did it.

She'd met Tina at college, having finally got out from under the wings of that controlling half brother of hers considering he didn't come into her life until she was full grown more or less, he had an awful lot of opinions on what she should do, where she should go, who she should go with and when. Tina's brother Mike was exactly the same, they'd actually shared a dorm in first year and both burst out laughing, when they looked at each other and rolled their eyes at their brothers standing in the doorway warning them about guys, Shane shouting loud enough for anyone on their floor to hear what he was saying while Mike announced his Kung Fu skills for the world to acknowledge

_"Brothers" Tina hissed _

_"Embarrassing brothers" Mercy added _

_"Here" Mike caught there attention saying, throwing some keys at Tina "That's so you can stay safe, but no drinking and driving"_

_"Seriously?" she asked her eyes sparkled before she hugged him "Thank you" she kissed his cheek "He's actually alright sometimes" she told Mercy _

_"I was going to give you yours but you two can ride together, saves us getting a cab all the way back" Shane told Mercy, she minded for about a second _

_"That's great we can hang" Tina walked back to her "If you're alright hanging with me?"_

_"I'd love to hang with you" Mercy smiled and that was the beginning of the longest relationship any of them had ever had _

They bonded fast because of the understanding of what was expected of them, Tina had also had a parent pass when she was young while her Dad had never been known to her, her brother had always been her keeper and was paying for her school fees and everything

Her phone ringing got her attention "Mercy" Emma called through the phone "I have a two hour opening and I know you asked if there was extra time..."

"Great, this couldn't have come at a better time, give me ten minutes" she closed the call, looking through the window at her car "T" she banged the window at her friend stood talking on her phone "T" she waved for her to come back, watching Tina close her call and run back towards the house

"What's up girl?" she asked in panic as she got to the door

"I just need you to walk me out to my car"

"Where are you going?"

"Emma has a two hour opening and I'm going to see her, I figure if I'm already out, I'm going to have to get back in" she giggled

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure, this thing isn't going to beat me" she grabbed hold of her friends arm and made for the door "Thanks" she smiled when she was in the car "I know I don't have to say it but have a great time with hubby"

"Will do and I'll call every day"

"T not every day, just when you can please, bye" she started the car

"Bye I love you"

"Straight back at you" she smiled putting her foot down on the gas, and checking her wing mirror before waving at Tina and she was gone

"That's my girl" Tina smiled at the bravery, feeling a bit better about going to see her husband


	2. Chapter 2

**Nine Weeks After The incident **

Both Emma and Mercy were pleased with the breakthrough with her confidence in such a short space of time, Mercy was still weary but she was getting on with her life and even thinking about going back to work, it had been nearly 10 weeks since she'd called in sick and the Principle was due to visit her as part of her return process. She was going to have to tell someone else she could see this thing going out of control, Tina had been bugging her to tell at least the Principle but she didn't want anyone looking at her like she was diseased, nasty or even up for what happened to her, she'd been denying the inevitable for a while now but week ten was coming and the date had been set for the visit, she could do with a friend she fanned through her contact list dismissing names as she scrolled, huffing as she kept going back to Tina, eventually stopping when she came to the name Sam Evans, he was neutral, he didn't know her she could pretend to be anything or anyone maybe, she shook her head trying to get rid of he ridiculous idea, but against everything in her body she pressed call and sat numb looking at the phone ring

"He won't even remember me" she told her phone as it rang "Sam" she called down the phone when he answered

"Yes" he replied flatly, obviously wondering who the unrecognisable number was on his phone

"I don't know if you remember me, Mercy, the girl that brought you home one drunken night?"

"Sure" his tone went up an octave "I'd given up on you calling"

"No, I was always going to call, I was just getting rid of old baggage" she laughed

"That ex turned up again?" he asked "Did you fall again?"

"No, it wasn't the ex, but it's taken a while to shake things with him off too, if you know what I mean"

"Only too well" he laughed

"I was wondering" she paused for a while before carrying on "I haven't been out since that night, and my therapist thinks it's time I did, I guess as I reckon you owe me at least one favour, you could be my chaperone for the night, or should I say my bodyguard?"

"When?" he asked, he wasn't even thinking of hesitating, he didn't know it before the call, but he was never going to find anything she asked too much, he had a debt to repay for his brother

"How are you for Friday night?"

"I can do Friday, I've not really been anywhere since that night myself, what do you say we do something different, go for a quiet meal or something, break back in gently?" he laughed

"It's a plan" she giggled

"I'll pick you up"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, it's not going to be as easy as you think"

"How do you know that?"

"I'm actually a therapist myself" he laughed

"Perfect" she giggled nervously

"Don't worry I'm used to changing hats" he laughed

"So what time?"

"Good I've convinced you" he giggled "Say 7pm but I need your address" he looked around the room for a pen "I just need a pen..."

"I'll text it to you" she told him "Got to go I'm finishing my lunch break, she lied "Friday"

"Yeah Friday" he smiled to himself as he heard the phone go dead

She was smiling but she really didn't know why, she'd just thrown herself at a strange man, asked him out on a damn date ten seconds after being destroyed by however many men, was she insane. "Maybe not insane" she told herself that was too strong a word for her actions "And you do need to get out, he looks like he could defend if he needed to" she'd talked herself around "Keep up that positive vibe" she reminded herself "You deserve a life" it was only Wednesday but her mind was already planning what she was going to wear, what she was going to say, do everything, it might as well have been a date

He on the other hand didn't know what to feel about the conversation, he felt what he'd said was genuine, but somewhere in the back of his mind he knew there was guilt, he needed to work out how much of that guilt had made him agree to do this, why he needed to try and make better what had been wrongly done to this victim. He eventually gave up the guilt trip and found excitement, it had been a while since he'd been out with a friend, his best friend Finn was an actor and was forever moving around for how in demand he was, they hooked up when they could which was around twice a year, he'd never just been out with a girl as a friend, there was always an ulterior motive, so this was going to be a treat "Black slacks" he went to his room to see if they were clean "Yes" he smiled knowing he was going to change his mind several times before the appointed hour came

**Friday**

She might have been found guilty for faking illness that afternoon as she sat in her local hairdressers getting her weave refreshed, smiling at her stylist as they talked about the latest disasterous relationship of one of the clients best friend, she'd never dream of outing Tina like that, this woman was no one to make any sort of friend to anyone. They were soon finished, she checked her do, paid her debt, grabbed her new eyeliner and left the salon for home, she had big decisions to make. Even after making her decision on Wednesday she was stood in her bedroom looking at her fifth choice of outfit, moving it around trying to make it fit her skin, wondering if it was too revealing, too sexy, sluttish, just plain calling out for someone to rape her. She was still struggling with what she'd done that night to make those animals pick her of all people on that night, she hadn't been drunk or mouthy, she hadn't dressed any different than she usually did but somehow she's sparked something off for those vermin, and now she was just scared to get dressed and look good. In the end she decided on a trouser suit with a crew neck top and boots, it wasn't even winter but she felt like she was putting up enough of a resistance not showing anything to trigger pigs.

Sam jumped into his usual black casual trousers with a shirt and his sketchers, he didn't want to over do it and put her at unease by making her think he wanted something at the end of the night, he'd made an effort but she was never going to know that, he grabbed his keys and made for his car. He put her address in his maps app, turned on his MP3 player and followed the instructions, humming away to the favourites on his playlist, just over 25 minutes later he was sitting outside her house, it was a familiar area to him but he'd hardly ever been on the east side of the city, another fifteen minutes and he'd have been at his Mom's house. This was nothing like where he'd moved to after getting his current job, his house was secluded, his surroundings were birds, grass and fresh air, hers was brownstones attached to each other people sitting on doorsteps, music blasting from cars, houses even, people walking past and busy, real busy.

"Hi" he smiled when she answered her phone

"Please don't tell me you're cancelling" she huffed

"No" he laughed "I was just calling to say I'm here and I'm about to knock your door"

"Oh" she looked at the phone wondering why

"I didn't want you to freak out at me knocking"

"Oh, it's fine" she told him "I always look out the window first"

"Great" he opened his car door and stepped out of it "I'm here then" he walked up the steps and smiled at her stood looking through her window at him

"Come on in" she clicked something to release the door and watched him push it open, she was stood in her doorway waiting for him when he got there, he wanted to complement her she was looking beautiful, but the situation didn't call for that stuff

"You're ready" he smiled "I thought I'd be waiting at least an hour" he laughed

"I started nearly three hours ago, this is my sixth choice" she giggled closing the door behind him as she stepped in

Despite the noise outside, inside was quiet, there was music playing, the room was light and airy, a white couch dominating the room with a glass coffee table in front of it with expensive china ornaments on, the white fur rug screaming comfort between the coffee table and the log fire "I love your place" he looked around

"Oh I inherited it, the whole house, I converted it into three apartments and I rent the top two out"

"Entrepreneur?"

"I guess" she laughed "So where are we going?"

"I thought we could go to Famous Dave's, I forgot to ask if you were vegetarian or something"

"Great, no I'm not, I love my meat" she laughed

"Me too stake's my thing"

"Me too"

"Come on let's go, are you alright with going out?"

"I'm fine with going out" she smiled watching him attempting to grab her hand but thinking better of it and guiding her out her own door. Having travelled in silence, less than 15 minutes later they were sat at a window table looking out over the pond at the restaurant, settled in and wondering what to converse about "I'm sure we can run through the ex thing and get this conversation warmed up" she suggested

"Ladies first" he smiled resting his lower arms, crossed in front of him on the table to lean in and listen

"Well" she smiled at the waiter coming towards them "Fresh orange juice for me please" she told him

"Make that two" Sam looked up to see the man standing behind him, he didn't say anything just walked away to get their order

"Noah" she rolled her eyes "Was a pig from day one, I guess he stayed so long because he was my first everything" she laughed at the memory "His best friend Artie linked up with my best friend..."

"Tina" Sam interrupted

"Yes Tina, I can't believe you remembered that" she smiled "We met in college, he was a gamer and I didn't even see it, by the time I did see I had too much invested to do anything about it, I was all in from the start, he led me to believe he was too, but as you know after hearing the same tired story for fuck ups you tend to see the bluff in it all so, against everything my body told me I had to cut him loose" she smiled "I'm glad he's out my system and I'm looking forward to the next chapter in my life, without him, and you?"

"Without me?"

"No I mean what's your ex story" she laughed

"Can I take your order?" the waiter put their drinks on their table asking

"Stake, well done, seasonal veg and Salad please" Sam told him

"Make that two" Mercy smiled at him

"Santana was a rebound" his eyes not leaving hers "I knew I shouldn't have gone there, but I guess I was trying to get over a long term relationship fast, I was at risk of going back to that toxic mess and I grabbed at Santana" he laughed "She was high maintenance from the start, I knew that on day one, she was drinking champagne like it was going out of fashion on my tab without even asking me" he looked at his glass of juice "But she was chatty and I guess I just needed distracting noise at the time" he looked back at Mercy unsure why he was being so open "I guess to use your word I was bluffing myself that she was what I wanted but I guess we both knew it had come to an end she just jumped that night before I could push her"

"So why get so drunk over a rebound"

"I guess looking back it wasn't just about her, Brittany; the girl that broke my heart, was in there too, I guess I got rid of both of them that night, I actually woke up fresh the next morning my head was clear for the first time in ages" he laughed

"So you know my best friend who's yours?" she asked

"Finn, he's an actor, works mainly in Hollywood so he lives over those sides, we meet up around twice a year, I've never been one to carry friends, neither has he really we went all through school together"

"Tina and I went through college together met in our dorm our first year" she told him excitedly "I don't have many other friends"

"Parents?"

"Both gone, I grew up with my Grandma but she passed a while back hence the house" she rolled her eyes, "You?"

"Dad passed years ago at work, Mom's still around, she's a diamond"

"Only child?"

"Yeah, you?"

"I have a brother, he's a wannabe ball player but more a thug, I try not to get him involved in my life" she laughed, Sam sat wondering why he'd denied having a brother "So now we've caught up can we get on with normal conversation?"

"Sorry what?"

"Normal conversation, sorry am I boring you?"

"No not at all, sorry I was wondering if I'd..." he fidgeted in his pocket "Oh I have" he smiled at his phone coming out "I wouldn't want them breaking into my car for it, I thought I'd left it on the dash"

"I'm boring you" she nodded her head telling him

"No really, you're not" he assured her "I was just wondering why I told you I was an only child when I'm not" he laughed nervously "I have a brother younger than me who sometimes makes me wish I was an only child"

"I guess my bro thinks the same about me sometimes" she laughed "Can I please disown mine too?"

"You have my permission" he laughed, watching as their meals were set down in front of them "Good choice?" he looked at the well presented meal asking

"Very good choice" she picked her cutlery up and quickly stuck her fork into it, cutting some off and eating it "Tastes good too" she told him when she'd finished chewing

"So we've covered ex's, family any other safe topics up your sleeve?" she asked

"Hobbies?"

"Yeah interesting" she rolled her eyes telling him "I actually made the effort for this meal, the least you could show is some appreciation" she laughed

"Okay" he laughed "I did think you looked pretty awesome when I saw you, but I didn't want you thinking that was what I was about"

"What finding a pretty awesome woman pretty?"

"Now you're fishing for more complements aren't you?" he put more food in his mouth after asking

"No I'm out to make you blush" she laughed "Like that" she pointed at his reddening face "Now you look cute and vulnerable and sweet and..."

"Okay I get it" he covered his mouth full of food telling her "You can tell I like you" he rolled his eyes laughing "I didn't want to jump in, I don't know how far ahead you are with your therapist"

"I thought you could separate the two?"

"I can"

"So?"

"Separated" he smiled "So what is it you do for a living Mercy Jones?"

"I teach Music at the local school"

"So you enjoy music, playing and listening?"

"I play, listen and sing"

"What do you play?"

"Piano mainly and I listen to anything and sing anything before you draw this out too" she laughed

"I don't do chat up lines, I think they're corny and belittling" he smiled "You're making me work tonight"

"For what?" she jerked back in her chair asking

"Conversation, what did you think I meant?" he asked her throwing his fork down

"Sorry" she grabbed his hand telling him "I'm a bit on edge and I didn't realise"

"That's what tonight is all about isn't it, not me trying to get in your panties"

"Sorry" she pushed her bottom lip out begging his forgiveness "I'm so out of practice with this stuff"

"Me too actually I never actually realised how out of practice until tonight" he smiled, not being able to resist her cute face "Dessert?"

"It's got to be chocolate" her eyes widened with her smile

"Chocolate brownies smothered in white chocolate sauce" his eyes already eating the dessert

"With honeysuckle crispy bits on top, please" she begged

"You've twisted me arm" he laughed putting his hand up for attention, and ordering their dessert

The conversation got lighter after that, Mercy talking mainly about her teaching, while he sat listening nodding when he needed to and feeling a connection, they were on their third glass of juice before they checked the time, "Come on I need to get you home, it's way past 11pm"

"Is that late for adults?"

"Funny" he laughed getting up to get her shawl and pay the bill "I enjoyed tonight, I'm hoping we can do it again, maybe an official date?"

"I thought you'd never ask" she laughed turning her back to him to get her shawl on, watching him pay the bill before making their way to his car "Can we get some music?" she asked as the conversation stopped and the quiet started

"Yeah sure" he turned the MP3 player on "What are you into?"

"Anything"

"Chill out?"

"That's your jam?"

"Amongst others yeah"

"Chill out it is then" she laughed, listening to him verbally instructing his system to select his chill out playlist _**'Listen, baby, ain't no mountain high, ain't no valley low, a**__**in't no river wide enough, baby...****'** _blasted out his speakers

"Oh I love me some Marvin, he's my jam, I played this one for ages before I got it" she laughed as **'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' by Marvin Gaye & Tami Terrell ** played

"Got what?" he looked at her puzzled, the lyrics were pretty clean

"That there were plenty of fucking mountains high enough most of them actually"

"Right" he laughed "I guess it learns me to take notice of which way he rivers flowing"

"Noah, Brittany, Santana, yep I can work with that" she raised her hand making him laugh "Maybe now we've got over their asses this can be our happy song"

"Maybe" he looked at her for a second, her face was lit up, she was happy, he smiled hoping he'd got something to do with that _**'Just call my name, I'll be there in a hurry, y**__**ou don't have to worry' **_humming in the car, they both laughed at the drama of their first meeting "Definitely"

**_"Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough, to keep me from getting to you, babe..." _**they both started singing at the same time smiling impressed with each others vocal skills _**"Cause you are my goal, if you're ever in trouble, I'll be there on the double, just send for me, oh baby, **__**my love is alive, way down in my heart, although we are miles apart, if you ever need a helping hand, I'll be there on the double, just as fast as I can, ****d****on't you know that there..." **_they both sang giggling as they pointed at each other while the song played on

"Do you think we can make that promise Sam Evans?"

"Promise?" he asked wondering what the hell she was talking about

"Are you willing to let this mess of a mood driven bitch, count on you?"

"I could definitely give that a try" he laughed relieved

"You're the second person I've ever asked to be my friend in my entire life"

"Your my second lifetime friend" he smiled back at her

"And we have a song" she leaned on his arm for a second

"We do" he rested his head on top of hers for a second

"The reason I asked you to take me out tonight was because I have the Principle coming to see me on Monday and I guess I was feeling like the world was going to know my shit and I don't think I can face the world right now, I guess I was panicking, trying to get myself relaxed"

"Whatever the reason I enjoyed myself, I didn't feel used once" he smiled

"Thank god for that" she held her chest in relief telling him

"And I guess that might mean you'll be ready for teaching again, you know it's a passion rather than a career, it might help more than you think"

"You're the expert I guess"

"No, I'm the hot date for the date not date we just went on, actually we could call it a mate" he laughed

"Sam Evans you're..."

"Fantastic I know" he laughed louder, conversation was light until they got nearer her home and then she got quiet "So you did it" he smiled at her trying to lighten the air "You made it out and back in one piece, well done"

"I think that was mainly because of the company" she half smiled "Thank you for doing this for me, you didn't have to but you did and I'm grateful"

"I did have to, you saved my life, I'm forever indebted to you"

"Okay so now I owe you a debt back" she smiled settling back into the seat to enjoy the last five minutes of the drive home, Sam's music filling the comfortable silence

"We're here" she heard making her eyes flash open "Did I bore you to sleep?" he laughed

"No" she giggled "The exact opposite, that's the most relaxed I've been in weeks"

"Sorry to break that up, do you want me to go round again?"

"No" she tapped his arm in jest "I could do with you walking me in though"

"And I'm doing that in a mate capacity" he warned, more to put her at ease than anything else, while he got out the car to let her out,

"Thank you" she got out smiling at him "You're such a gentleman"

"I know it's one of my weak points"

"I wouldn't have called it weak" she told him as they mounted the steps to her home "I hope we can do this mate again soon"

"Whenever you're ready, just call" he told her

"Or you can call me, whichever"

"I guess I can" he watched her opening the front door "Are you alright from here?"

"Yes" she smiled stepping into her house "Thank you for a lovely evening"

"No" he giggled "Thank you and... I'll see you again soon"

"Very soon?"

"Very, I enjoyed my very first mate, goodnight"

"Goodnight Sam" she smiled before closing the door

He stood watching it for a second wondering what the night actually was, coming to the realisation that he was actually excited about it, he'd managed to forget for most of the night that he was there because of his stupid brother, he enjoyed her company and it seemed she enjoyed his too. He smiled, put his hands in his pocket and made his way back down the steps to his car, his music came on as soon as he turned the ignition on and he smiled at his playlist jumping back to that Marvin Gaye song for the first time in nearing 3 months he was actually smiling at the song that had depressed him for so long, for sure he was over Brittany and Santana. By the time he got home he was back in that hole he'd dug for himself, he genuinely like this girl, but it had all started on a lie and now it was done how was he ever going to bring it back to mean anything, he slammed the car door as he got out, mad at his brother.

Mercy was pleased she's survived the evening, it had been a strange time, but she'd actually enjoyed it, Sam had been so easy to talk to and made her feel at ease quickly. She chuckled to herself at the fact that she'd actually been flirting with him and enjoyed it, he didn't make her feel like she was too dirty in doing that, in fact he'd given her a safe platform to do it. "Yes" she punched the air as she walked across her living room and down the stairs to her bedroom, she was more than ready for the Principle and all his bull shit, and right now if Sam accepted her with everything she'd been through, then she really couldn't be all that bad.

Monday came, the meeting came and went, Tina came back just before Mercy went back to work, they had an afternoon of fun and she was officially in a good place again, she would have liked to be able to merit the whole thing to Tina but the conversations she was having with Sam every evening were exciting her. Mercy walked into her class of 9 to 10 year olds teary eyed as they presented her with flowers and chocolates, before they sang her a medley of welcome songs in their various mother tongues, she was more than impressed and humbled by it. As time went by Mercy became less concerned with Tina's comings and goings and more concerned with where Sam was, what he was doing, making him laugh, hearing him talk, they had their regular Friday evening drinks, Saturday afternoon lunches and the Sunday were either phone catch ups or he'd pop over to hers for the afternoon if she wasn't busy, they'd play music and talk about anything from work to emotions

**Six Months After the Incident **

"How are you getting on with the Therapist?" Tina asked as they walked through the mall looking for Christmas presents for her parents, a week before the big day

"It's good, it's helping" Mercy replied not wanting to add what she really wanted to say, which was, not as much as Sam was, but she didn't know how Tina would take her having a male friend after everything that had happened, somewhere in the back of her mind, she was still feeling much to blame for what actually happened, she was still finding it hard to shake that feeling off

"So when are you going Lima?" Tina asked the usual question Mercy dreaded, every year they had the same conversation, Tina forever wanting her to go home, where the only thing she was reminded of there were her parents and the fact that Christmas or any other celebration just wasn't that anymore. Christmas, much like Thanksgiving, Mother's or Father's day always left a raw taste in her mouth and this one was no exception

"I volunteered to do the nativity play at the church on Christmas morning so I guess I'll be going to the Paster's house for the holidays"

"I could have done with you coming with us this year, especially after everything you've been through"

"I'll be fine" Mercy smiled, knowing she'd only told half truth, she was doing the nativity but she was going home to a meal for one from the freezer straight after it, she really didn't feel much like getting into the spirit of Christmas this year

"If your sure" Tina stood searching her friends face for confirmation

"I'm sure" she smiled diverting Tina's attention to a silk scarf, that she thought was just right for Artie's Mom

"Should we do something tonight before I go home?" Tina asked eager to blow out "Artie's coming home tomorrow, packing on Sunday and then we're off on Monday Morning?"

"I don't …."

"I'm not talking club maybe for a meal or something"

"I have this Teacher's thing going on, later this afternoon, and I don't know what time it will be done"

"That's fine" Tina told her looking at her suspiciously "Is something going on that I don't know about?"

"Like what?"

"Are you back with Noah or something?"

"No" Mercy laughed "He's history, he hasn't even so much as asked me how I am once since we split, after nearly four years of being my entire life"

"There's something going on"

"There's nothing going on" Mercy rolled her eyes telling her

"You might as well tell me before I find out" Tina warned

"When you find out, I'm sure you'll let me know" Mercy told her laughing, as they stood paying for their wares at the till, later they had their usual coffee and cake, exchanged presents, hugged and parted company for the holidays.

**Sam & Mercy**

'Are we still on for tonight' she smiled at her message from Sam, as she sat in the car contemplating whether or not to open the present Tina had just given her, she knew what it was anyway

'Sure' she wrote back still smiling, they'd managed to get themselves a firm mate-ship, they'd established they were both lonely and both needed time alone to heal from the deep scars that had been left from previous relationships and events, so their light hearted banter, that was sometimes suggestive, gave just the right amount of excitement and security for them. What they had, this mate-ship was enough for them, it was like a relationship but without the sex or complications of possessiveness, jealousy or even expectations that came with their experiences of relationships. Of course there were times when one, the other or even both got attention from a third parties, sometimes they'd let it ride for a while until they exchanged their alert signal and then they'd pretend to be together, they'd jump in asking questions like, what you playing at? always directed at each other rather than the third party, and they'd get lost in their role play of jealous partner, it was fun.

She'd made her way back to school, for the afternoon sessions, the Teacher's thing was a very quick snack after school closed, a bit of socialising but with shopping days limited until Christmas there were very few that found the time to stand around for over an hour, so by 5pm Mercy was free to get home and prepare for her evening with her mate.

It was her turn to drive so, Sam made his way to her house, made his usual call and went in as usual, he was alright with her driving but not to drop him off and come back alone, he kept telling her it was too soon. She didn't bother to argue, if he wanted to protect her like that she was up for it, and she felt double comfortable with him doing that "What did you do today?" he asked walking in and dropping himself on her couch ready to listen

"Shopping, lying" she frowned

"Why did you lie?"

"I didn't want to be a burden I guess" she stood in the mirror grooming her hair

"To?"

"Tina and her family, I always seem to be there, and you can guarantee she's told them what happened to me, and to be honest I could do without the sympathy" she stopped combing and looked at him

"Surely they're being supportive"

"Maybe I just wanted to be on my own, I hate going back too, there are so many memories"

"So that's the real reason" he got up and walked towards her "Your parents"

"It's supposed to be a happy time, they don't need me moping about" she smiled at his reflection looking at her in the mirror "Maybe this is exactly what I need"

"What?"

"Some alone time, down time whatever they call it, reflection" she lifted her hair off her neck "Could you do my button please?"

"Sure" he moved what was left of her hair and stood fiddling with the clasp for a short while, Mercy stood in the mirror watching him concentrate on the task at hand, smiling at him biting his bottom lip in frustration at not succeeding, before a smile came to his face and he looked up at her reflection "Done" he grinned

"Thank you" she giggled

"So you're going to be alone at Christmas?" he stood fidgeting with her hair getting in settled against her back

"There's nothing wrong with that is there?"

"No" he looked up at her smiling his appreciation "Not bad, even if I say so myself" he looked at the back of her hair telling her "I could have been a stylist in another life you know?"

"Yeah sure" she giggled "You put my hair back, you didn't style it"

"Maybe not an actual stylist then but definitely in some sort of hair place" he laughed

"I still think you're pushing it" she shook her head telling him no

"I guess that's an agree to disagree conversation?"

"Definitely" she giggled "Come on let's get out of here"

"Where are we going?" he asked opening the door for her to get out the apartment

"I thought we'd have a bit of a change and go up town to Jotti" she smiled

"Sweet" he raised his eyebrows at her choice, he actually liked the burgers there, the journey was, as usual, chatty and when they pulled up at the busy bar they sat outside for a while wondering if they were even going to get a seat let alone a drink "Come on let's at least try" he finally made their minds up for them as he jumped out the car and let her out "If we're standing for half an hour we'll go somewhere else" he told a stubborn Mercy, sat refusing to get out the car "I promise"

"Remember you said that" she warned "And that timer starts... now" she checked his watch as she told him that, before stepping out of the car

They got into the crowded bar and stood in the crowd waiting to get to the bar "It's been refurbished" he told her as they looked around at the lilac and brown jazzy décor high back brown leather seats and modern bar "Can we still order food here?" he asked when they finally got served, looking around at people standing at the near chest high tables eating burgers

"You can" the bartender shouted back over the noise "But you'd be better going round to the new restaurant, it's quieter" he pointed

"They have a restaurant" he turned to tell Mercy "Do you want to try it?" he rolled his eyes at her reaction, of course she would if it meant sitting down "Can we book a table?" he asked

"There are spaces, just go round and ask" the bartender told him "You can order your drinks at the table too"

"Thank you" Sam turned in the direction the bartender had pointed him in and grabbed Mercy's hand, after securing a table they sat chatting about their week, waiting for their ordered food and drinks

"Sam" a voice invaded their conversation making the two of them look up

"Brittany" he smiled up at the tall, pretty blond before getting up and hugging her "Nice to see you, how are you?"

"I'm fine and you?" she asked looking over his shoulder at Mercy sitting at the table

"I'm more than fine" he pulled away from her turning to look at Mercy "This is Mercy" he smiled at her as he said her name, his eye giving her the signal "And Mercy this is Brittany who I told you about"

"Nice to meet you" Mercy smiled up at the woman

"Likewise" Brittany smiled, Mercy could tell the woman's mind was in overdrive "I see you finally moved on" she looked back at Sam, telling him but Mercy could tell she was asking him the questions

"Definitely" he smiled "We were young and foolish" he let go of her hand telling her "So what's life doing for you?"

"I'm still doing me on stage, not so much now but I Choreograph a lot more now"

"And still enjoying it?"

"Very much so"

"We're just about to have something to eat, he looked back at Mercy telling her "But it was nice to see you again" he sat back down

"Yes it was nice to meet you" Mercy added

"We must catch up sometime" Brittany's gaze moved from Mercy to Sam as she spoke

"I think not" Mercy answered, watching Brittany's head spin back to look at her "I don't do well with ex's, sorry"

"Oh" Brittany gasped, put out by the brash response "I'll see you around then" she told Sam

"I said, no you won't" Mercy told her, pissed at the fact that she'd spoken but the bitch had chosen to respond to Sam again, she was ignoring her "And if you must know, I'm more than pissed that you saw us here and felt the need to come over and make your damn self known to me"

Brittany stood looking around the room at this woman getting attention for shouting her out "I'm sorry we were..."

"Exactly, were" Mercy huffed

Sam sat looking at Mercy wondering what was going on for her, they usually went off at each other, but for whatever reason she'd decided Brittany was going to get it this time, he didn't have anything to say about what she was doing but what she was saying seemed, to him, like she was really hurt about the situation "Brittany will you leave us alone please?" he butted in before things got too out of hand "Mercy I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine Sam, I guess I got pissed because she ignored me"

"Don't lie" he smiled grabbing her hand "You got pissed because you felt threatened"

"I'm sorry" she looked at him upset

"I'm sorry I made you feel like that" he squeezed her hand "We already agreed we were doing it alone for now, and that we'd tell each other when we felt ready"

"And no going back I know" she giggled "I just... I cant explain it"

"I can" he smiled "You saw someone I used to love and you were jealous, I'd feel exactly the same if I saw that Noah of yours"

"About that" she pulled her hand away "There's just never been a right time to tell you"

"Tell me what?"

"Santana" she watched his eyes narrow "She left you that night for Noah, I saw them dancing together, which was why I left the club in the first place, and Tina told me they went home together that night, I recognised her at your house that first day"

"Santana and Noah" he laughed "I might have been offended had she ever really meant anything to me, but fuck it" he grabbed her hand back "They were made for each other, he wasn't the first guy she's strayed with"

"He wasn't?" Mercy gasped

"Enough about ex's lets get back to life" he smiled watching the food arrive "This looks good" he took the lid off his stake burger to inspect it "Like you" he grinned at her

"You're the best mate" she smiled before they tucked into their meal, they took time over it before eventually going back into the bar to have a couple of drinks before they decided to call it a night and went home. he saw her in, picked up his keys kissed her cheek and left for home himself

**Sam**

Sam got in his car and sat looking at her house, what the fuck was he doing, he might have been fooling her with this mate stuff but he really wasn't fooling himself. She was everything he'd want in a woman, she flew off the handle sometimes about shit stuff but he more than liked her, he was all up for telling Brittany she was his new girl, so much so he'd nearly forgotten to wink when he looked at her and saw cute jealous written all over her face. Tonight his imagination had gone a bit further than usual he'd actually walked into her home still dreaming of what staying over would produce, he'd left unusually quickly not trusting himself to be alone with her this thing was getting to him

"Stevie" he hissed banging his steering wheel, he hadn't mentioned to his family that he just happened to be one of the best friends of the girl his brother gang raped, mainly because he didn't want to lose her like that, he'd worked it out in his mind and felt he could keep the two lives separate, but he never figured on feelings and now they were here and he was in a rut.

He turned the key igniting the engine and drove off with the dream of a relationship between Mercy and he ever coming to fruition fading with every kilometre, the catchy intro from his playlist whistled in his ear, he got lost in the dream presented by the music, he saw a vivid picture of Mercy sat on the steering wheel in front of him, he shook the thought out of his head, frowning when he found himself parked outside his Mom's house, he sat wondering how he'd got there without paying attention to the road, he wasn't even planning on going there, but now it had happened it was nearing 1am and he needed sleep., "Driving me mad alright" he shook his head before getting out the car

"Sam" Stevie gasped putting the knife down "You frightened the fucking shit out of me" he held his chest telling his brother

"I thought I'd come check if you were keeping your word" he told him, smiling at having frightened him

"I haven't even been out let alone around that bastard since that day, that shit happened too close to home I don't need to see that woman ever again" he held some toast up asking if he wanted any, Sam grabbed it out his hand and sat on the counter to talk

"I guess she could be in the same position"

"I still have nightmares about that shit"

"You should, for the rest of your damn life" Sam told him, he wasn't joking about that either "Anyway what's happening for Christmas around here?"

"The usual" he looked at his brother wondering what was going on "Why?"

"I might be doing something different this year"

"Like?"

"Going somewhere else for dinner"

"Dude you know how Mom is about holidays"

"That's how she wants to celebrate them not me" Sam told him

"Is this because of what I did?"

"No" he chuckled at Stevie's connection "It's about what I want"

"Who is she" Stevie smiled "Are you back with that Brittany bitch"

"No" he laughed "I thought you liked her"

"She gave me my first blow job of course I liked her"

"I recall she thought that was an okay thing to do" he laughed

"There was a lot of things she thought was okay to do, I'm glad you didn't believe that shit about her thinking I was you in that bed"

"You and me both, you weren't the first and I'm sure we won't be the last" he took a bite of his toast telling his brother "I saw her tonight, I was at Jotti's and she walked up to me as bold as anything acting like we could try again" he laughed

"What did you say"

"I told her to fuck off, what do you think?"

"And came home just in case you ventured over to her place?"

"No I had no intention of doing anything like that" he laughed "You need to get to bed"

"Why?"

"If you want me to take you shopping for absolutely anything you want in the morning, I've got 9 till 11 open and then that's it, you've missed your chance"

"And there's no all-nighter option?"

"Not on this table no"

"Goodnight" he threw the toast down and moved off fast to get to bed, his present on his mind

"Still a little boy at heart" Sam chuckled, he knew Stevie would struggle before falling on the newest game for his Wii, between his Mom and him that boy had everything he'd ever need

The next morning they woke up to their Mom cooking breakfast for everyone, and Sam had a difficult conversation to have, Stevie smiled looking across the breakfast bar at Sam getting himself puffed up to make the announcement "Mom" he almost shouted getting everyone's attention "I wont be here for dinner on Christmas day"

"What do you mean?" she asked her voice strained

"I just want to be on my own this year"

"Why would anyone choose to be on their own at Christmas?"

"I just want to"

"Who is she, and why are you ashamed of us?"

"I'm not ashamed of anyone, I just want to do something different"

"We'll come to yours then"

"That's not an option"

"So you are going somewhere else?"

"Can we leave it at I'm not having dinner here, I'll wake up here and maybe come back in the evening?"

"For now yes please, because you promised me shopping" Stevie told him looking at his phone, it was past 9am this conversation was taking place in his time

"This conversation isn't finished" his Mom warned

"I think it is" Sam warned, she knew he could be just as stubborn as her when he dug his heel in


	3. Chapter 3

**Christmas Day **

Mercy jumped out of her sleep, she'd got so much to do today, she showered, got dressed and went upstairs to put the full sized turkey in the oven, grabbed her copy of the nativity script and rushed out the house to get to church, the children were coming in an hour early to have one last stab at things before the grand opening of the one morning only performance. She'd got to rush back after church to get all the fixings ready and dinner needed to be on the table for 3pm at the very latest, because there had to be at least 2 hours between that and dessert. She'd managed to get a game of truth or dare and it had been a while since she'd challenged anyone to a game of chess, if he was up for it she was going to start one that might last the entire holidays, the fact that she could play was her ace card.

Sam sat watching his Mom's screwed up face over breakfast, smiling at the fact that he wasn't changing his mind, and she already knew that "At least tell us a name" she finally burst asking him

"There is no name" he laughed "I genuinely want to be alone for a while"

"You have a bedroom upstairs, you can be alone there"

"I have a whole house back home"

"I thought this was home?"

"You know what I mean Mom, I'm not getting into this with you today" he got up smiling at her "Here" he grabbed a small box off the chair next to him as he went towards her "Happy Christmas" he told her kissing her forehead

"Are you at least going to open presents?"

"Of course, I'm not going till around lunch"

"So you have someone cooking for you?"

"Mom" he rolled his eyes at the woman "Please, I'll go now if you want"

"No" her head popped up from the paper she was unwrapping "I'll stop" she told him gasping at the bracelet in her hand "This is beautiful" she told him looking at the jewel incrusted gold trinkets

"So are you" he smiled

"Thank you Sammy" she grabbed hold of his face and kissing his cheek "I'll treasure it forever" she held his face telling him

"I'm hoping your kind of forever as well Mom" he kissed her nose "I love you"

"You're going aren't you?"

"I am" he giggled

"My turn" Stevie interrupted their moment telling them "Mom" he held his arm out with a big square well wrapped present in it "This is for you"

"You brought it didn't you?" she smiled at her baby "No wonder you rushed me past the shop the other day" she laughed unwrapping her new book titled A Beautiful, Terrible Thing: A Memoir of Marriage and Betrayal, she loved that stuff "Thank you sweetheart"

Sam stood wondering what their Mother would think if she knew what her sweetheart really was "I love you Mom" Stevie sounded so genuine as he spoke

"I love you too sweet" she smiled "Your stuff is through there" she told them watching them move off to get their presents "It's underwear this year" she shouted after them

"Still thinks we're twins" Sam laughed as they unwrapped their matching Versace underwear and socks

"Here" Stevie passed over a loosely wrapped soft present and an unwrapped tubular present to his brother "It's not underwear" he smiled watching Sam opening the smaller present containing a Christmas themed jumper before opening the tube to take out a life size picture of the family, with a picture of his Father in the background "I notice you don't have any pictures in your place so..."

"Thanks squirt" Sam smiled at him putting the jumper over his head just as the front door bell rung through the house "God they're getting earlier" he threw the wrapping down as they both walked towards the door to do their traditional carol singing welcome as they arrived, once that was all over they helped their Mom with setting the table and then Sam was off

"Are you going in the jumper?" Stevie asked

"Yeah" he smiled "My bro brought it for me" he giggled at Stevie feeling proud of himself, before he walked out the door

**Mercy & Sam**

They were both struggling with the boundaries they'd set themselves in this mate-ship and both too scared to admit it, they'd agreed a platonic relationship, and back then Sam was fine with that, he'd already dug himself a hole he couldn't get out of, but this situation they'd found themselves in was a sticky one. They both knew the time was getting close, these feelings weren't going to be contained for much longer and then what was going to happen, the thought of losing a friend clouding everything else, they could only try harder at being mates.

Sam was driving along wishing his car to go slower, he needed control, it was a strange time for him, his very first Christmas away from home, he was a grown ass man with his own place but home was still home to him. He held onto the steering wheel smiling at the fact that his need to be with Mercy overrode anything his family had to say and he already knew that meant something. He'd never dreamt of missing Christmas at home for Brittany, she went her way and he went his, they'd exchange presents on the 23rd and that was it except for phone calls until 2nd January. The tunes coming out of his speaker making him smile, his focus had changed for real, but how was he going to move this forward without losing a friend, he shook his head, he needed to focus, fast

Mercy had been the first to leave the church after the service, leaving the parents to sort their children out, she needed to get home to prepare and deliver this meal for a special person, especially after he'd deserted his Mother's cooking for hers. The turkey had started before church she'd put the beef in as soon as she got in the trimmings were bubbling away, her gravy was ready and her second successful attempt this week at their favourite chocolate brownies smothered in white chocolate sauce with honeysuckle crispy bits on top sitting waiting she was ready.

She slipped out of her practical school teacher going to church clothes and put on something more relaxing, her knee length red skirt and Christmas jumper bringing a smile to her face before she grabbed her apron and went back upstarts to wait for Sam's arrival. She didn't get the chance to do much past two checks on the meal before the buzzer went and she was rushing towards the release button

"You didn't check the window" Sam told her as he walked towards her standing in her apartment doorway

"I knew it was you"

"Even so.." he raised his eyebrow at her

"Okay I hear you" she looked at his ringing phone

"Sorry it's my Mom" he flipped it open "Mom what's up?" he laughed before telling her "I'm fine, bye Mom" he rolled his eyes and closed the call " Sorry about that, protective Mom, happy Christmas" he smiled hugging her as he spoke, he loved doing that just to smell her, today he could smell her but it was clouded by the smell of cooking

"Happy Christmas" she closed her eyes taking in the contact, knowing that those few seconds were going to feel like hours

"Seasonal jumper" he laughed

"I always..." she laughed at him opening his jacket to reveal his "Dinner's ready if you want to jump straight in?" she giggled

"3's good we agreed 3 yeah?"

"Yeah we did"

"But if it's ready lets eat" he told her seeing the panic on her face

"Thank god I don't know how to reheat without burning" she laughed

"The table looks amazing" he told her as they walked further into the room "You've gone all out"

"I didn't want you to regret coming here instead of being with your family"

"If I was ever going to regret it I wouldn't be here, you know that"

"I do but, you know how I am" she looked up at him smiling

"I know how you are" he hugged her before letting her go to sort their food out "Do you need any help?"

"You could pour the wine"

"Done" he went over to the table to do just that

"You can sit once you've done that let me impress you" she told him watching as he opened the bottle, shaking her head to get the thoughts off it "Dinner" she muttered

"What was that?" he looked up asking

"I'm focusing" she smiled at his phone ringing again, he took it out and looked at her "Your Mom?" she laughed

"Sorry" he answered it again and stood reassuring his Mom he was fine and asking her not to call again "Sorry" he turned to tell her as he closed the call and turned his phone off "I know we've eaten plenty meals here and at mine but this one feels different" he looked back at her smiling

"Maybe because I'm actually doing the cooking instead of you" she laughed

"Maybe"

"Presents after dinner, if you finish" she wiggled her eyebrows at him laughing as she put the turkey crown out

"Looks good" he ignored her conversation, he had some serious ideas going on in his head about afters "Should I put some music on?" he got up to put some distance between then asking

"If you want"

"I see you still refuse to come around to my type of music, this stuff is so commercial" he flicked through her collection telling her

"Agree to disagree remember" she pointed the spoon at him before taking the bowls of veg over to the table "Come eat your dinner"

"Yes Miss" he went to join her at the table, laughingly grabbing her chair out before she could do it herself, smiling as she sat down without calling him a chauvinist, "What's your ideal vacation, if money and time were no object?" he asked picking food out the serving dishes as he spoke

"God that's difficult because you're asking me about the rest of my life" she chose food too

"It's a vacation" he stopped putting salad in his mouth

"I know but it would last forever for me, life would have to be one long holiday in say The Seychelles or somewhere secluded like I imagine that to be"

"We'll have to go one day, just to see"

"We will" she smiled at him, there was much more going on in her head around that comment but her lips wouldn't let them out

"What?" he asked looking back at her

"What?" she shook her head asking

"You were staring"

"Was I, sorry I was thinking"

"Penny for them"

"Not even worth it, thanks for this"

"You cooked" he laughed

"No I mean for..."

"I know what you mean" he butted in "Eat up"

"I thought you put music on?"

"I did I just..." he got up to flick the switch up "Forgot your old fashioned thing needed prompting"

"I'm offended" she giggled as music blasted out

"Seriously though" he looked back at the system when he sat down "Haven't you got over that man yet?" he asked at the lost my man music coming at them

"Yeah" she frowned at his question "Why do you ask that?" watching him point at the song coming at them "She's a wicked singer, the feeling was real for me once and I love this fuck you stuff sometimes when I'm alone" she paused wondering if she wanted to share this fantasy "You know outside of being a teacher that's what I always wanted to do, sing big emotional ballads that people remembered forever"

"My bad" he held his hands up at her emotional response, watching her get up and walk towards the stereo, he thought she was focusing on the sex of it all, she stood messing with things for a while before more music filled the air

"Is this one too emotional for you, I can change it if you want?" she asked as **'What's Going On' by Marvin Gaye"** belted out

"It's definitely more my speed" he smiled

"I hate the way you always get what you want" she hissed at him laughing as she went back to her chair

"And I hate the way you get your way when you come to mine" he laughed with her "It's called hospitality"

They sat laughing, talking and eating until they both sat back full to the brim with food, bursting out laughing for the competition they'd just had without even knowing it "That was much too much food for two people" Mercy laughed

"I don't think my Mom cooked this much for 9 of them" he laughed "We can have sandwiches tomorrow and soup the day after that" he told her "Oh we must dance to this it's one of my favourite songs" he held his hand out for her to take, they got up from the table and found the centre of the room, Mercy rested her head on his chest as he spun them around as the mellow sound of **'Sexual Healing' by Marvin Gaye **hummed at them

"I'll clear the dishes" she pulled away from him when the song finished, she was getting much too comfortable there

"Mercy" he called after her relieved when she didn't respond he was just about to fuck everything up for them with his revelations, he went to help with the clean up in silence, except for the clatter of plates and pots. The dishwasher was finally full, they washed and dried the few items left over while they lightened the air again fun dancing around to **'Got To Give It Up' by Marvin Gaye**

"Dessert or presents?" she asked putting the last pot away

"Presents" he replied walking towards the tree "This ones for you" he passed her a small box

"It's from Tina and Artie, do that one first" she pointed at another parcel, he picked it up and handed it to her "It's for both of us" she told him leaving it in his hand, smiling as he opened it to reveal two Santa hats "Now we can open presents" she ripped open her present from Tina to reveal her fourth trinket for the bracelet they'd brought her some 4 years ago "Courage" she looked at the gold nugget shaped into a lion smiling

"Courage?" he turned to look at her a question on his face

"Yeah" she smiled "Tina and her husband brought me a bracelet four years ago and every year they sum up my year in a single word and make me a trinket" she sat to tell him "So far I've had a wand because I got my job straight out of University and we all thought it was a major miracle for how drunk we were the night before my interview" she laughed, "Then I had a closed eye" she frowned "I guess they were trying to tell me Noah was up to shit, and yes my eyes were closed for nearly two years" she huffed "I didn't put that one on the chain until I finished with him" she waved her finger telling him "Last year I had a scroll, that was for making head of year at my school, and now a lion"

"I didn't know you for the rest but I totally agree with this years" he smiled "This is yours from Shane" he passed her another present and sat watching her unwrap some very pink slippers, she pulled them apart revealing a rubber band of money sitting inside

"Typical Shane" she rolled her eyes and threw the money down on the couch

"And this is from me" he handed her a larger wrapped box

"Thanks" she smiled ripping the paper he'd taken time to put around it "God Sam" she gasped "This cost... what nearly 2k" she huffed

"It's not about the cost, it's about not listening to you banging that old thing every time it freezes or loses your work" he laughed as he watched her appreciating her new top of the range laptop

"Thank you" she leaned forward and kissed him, as quick as she did it she knew she'd crossed a line and pulled back "That one behind the tree is yours" she pointed at the large box she'd been trying to hide

"That wasn't there yesterday" he got up to get it "How the hell did you get this inside?" he asked lifting it with all his strength

"It was a struggle, they ended up sending a female with the courier" she laughed "But I think it was worth the risk"

"Nothing's worth the risk Mercy" he turned to put the thing on the couch "What the hell is it?" he ripped at the thin paper asking "What" he gasped looking at the picture of a telescope on the side "You didn't?" he looked at her asking

"Well I remember you saying it was the only thing your Dad had promised that he hadn't delivered on and I thought why not" she giggled "Actually his spirit told me to get it"

"Thank you so much" he wiped a tear threatening to fall down his face "This means so much" he grabbed her hand and pulled her up to meet him, hugging her so tight she just had to hug him back

"This is my pleasure" she told him talking about the hug but he could take it any way he wanted "I was told that this Nexstar 8SE was the mother of all babies you should at least see what you need to" she looked down at the half unwrapped present

"I can't wait to get it home" he looked down at it still smiling "But I'll wait for you, we'll do it together" he hugged her again "This has been the best day" his breath hot on her neck as he spoke

"What you actually enjoyed my cooking?" she laughed

"Everything" he lifted his head to look into her eyes "Absolutely everything" he'd moved his head but his chest was still pressed against hers, he could feel himself breathing heavy, he knew what was on his mind and try as he might his body wasn't about to behave itself "Mercy I.." he didn't get to say anything else as her hand came up and pulled him into her, her other hand taking the time to ripple down his chest, she'd longed to feel it and while she was taking this liberty she might as well throw everything in. Sam grabbed her hand as it wondered down him and pulled away from her, she was ready for him to bawl her out, she'd crossed a line, but before she could get ready for it he pulled her back into him and kissed her, his lips rubbing at hers while his tongue asked permission to enter her mouth, she smiled to herself before opening her mouth to him, a moan entered the room it wasn't clear who'd made it

"Sorry" she jerked away from him

"No I'm sorry I shouldn't have..."

"No that was all me" she told him awkwardly

"No it was me sorry"

"Dessert?" she walked off towards the kitchen

"Yeah that would be good" he found the couch and sat waiting the silence interrupted only by the stereo playing **'Lets Get It On' by Marvin Gaye **he looked over at her busying herself in the kitchen. The idea of dating his best friend might be thrilling for that second, but there was too much to explain and forgive to make that move, nevertheless they'd made a shift and he had no idea how they were going to get past it without going through it. he knew her well she was his go to person and he knew he was hers, how the hell did he manage to add making out into this damn mixed up mess.

Mercy stood over the bubbling white chocolate in the source pan hoping he wasn't taking in the lyrics to the song, the last thing she wanted to say to the man was fuck me now, she could feel his eyes boring into her, she knew the next conversation was going to be about him being sorry, not wanting anything more than friendship and how he'd thought it best they part company. Well she was going out on her terms, she sprinkled some coco dust over the finished dessert and walked back to the dining table, she wasn't giving him the opportunity

"It's ready" she smiled bringing two plates with their favourite dessert on them

"Is that?" Sam jumped up to check it out "I'm being absolutely spoilt today" he pulled his chair out to sit in front of his dessert, his eyes wide like a child receiving his favourite gift

"About the kiss" Mercy looked up from the dessert "I really didn't mind, but I don't want it to spoil our mate-ship"

"Neither do I"

"That was why I pulled away, we just needed to pull it back before it went too far"

"I agree, and thanks" he smiled, happy she'd put his mind at ease "For the day with Marvin I mean, I appreciate it"

After that they went back to being mates again and sat happily talking about past Christmas' Mercy remembering how things were when her father was about, his dodgy lifestyle and her Grandma's ways, how strict she was and how she felt when she died. That led onto the story of her brother from another mother showing up and for whatever reason he's always acted like the protector, they'd spent two Christmas' together before his life became too dangerous for her to be around and since then she'd done it alone, managing with a present on birthdays and holidays. While Sam remembered his Dad being around and how they were more outdoors in the snow or climbing some rock that felt like a mountain, fishing and how he enjoyed those truck rides on local drops, laughing, remembering and eating until they finished their dessert "I have, chess, truth or dare or a movie lined up if your interested?" she told him as she took his plate

"Yeah, movie why not" he got up and started packing away the table cover and napkins ready for washing

"It's about lonely hearts I'm afraid but I like it, The Holiday, have you watched it before?"

"I don't recall"

"We could watch The Terminator if you'd prefer"

"Christmas Day, I'll stick to your choice, you haven't gone wrong so far" he laughed "Glass of wine?"

"Please" she looked over at him smiling "Ready?" she finally walked in with a bowl of munchies which she sat in between them on the couch before starting the movie, of course with the fire blazing, the blanket covering their legs, the glasses of wine and the theme of the movie they fell asleep before the end of it "Sam" she nudged him when she jumped out of her sleep "Sam" she nudged him harder, he didn't wake up, she threw the blanket over him and went off to bed, she'd enjoyed her Christmas day and by the looks of it he had too.

**Boxing Day **

"Morning" she smiled as she enter the living room "Couldn't wake you up last night so I just left you"

"Morning" he yawned, stretching as he spoke "It was the wine, it knocked me out" he brushed his hair off his face as he spoke

"Says the guy who'd downed a bottle of JD the first night I met him" she laughed "Coffee?" she asked walking across the room to the kitchen

"Did I look like I was handling that, when you met me?" he laughed, getting up to meet her at the kitchen counter

"Actually no" she laughed "Bacon?"

"Great" he chuckled "I thought you were going to make us eat turkey for breakfast"

"We could if you wanted"

"No lunch is fine, we could take some sandwiches to the park, feed the ducks with what's left"

"Feeding ducks, so not my thing" she laughed "But hey, if that's what my mate wants to do we'll do it" the kettle whistling ready drawing their attention.

They had breakfast, got ready and left for the park, after feeding the ducks, which Mercy actually enjoyed, he took her back home and went off to see his family, with a promise to return later.

For the first time since their kiss they were able to reflect on it now they weren't in each others company, Sam felt like a hypocrite he wanted to tell her how important she was to him, what he actually felt about her. she'd made a positive impact on his life, one that she didn't even know about, his bar had been raised, he knew how he wanted to be treated by a woman, how he should treat a woman, and although it had all been brought on by this mess his brother had created, it meant something to him. The kiss for him could have led to everything, it was actually everything he wanted from their relationship the only obstacle was that he knew himself and before anything like that could happen between them he'd be compelled to tell her the truth, knowing what that would mean for his brother. To lose her now would hit him hard he knew that, she was his person, on good days and bad, just seeing her face smiling at him made everything better, there was no other mood but happy around her, she made his life better "But if we could just get thorough all this shit..." he smiled with the hope of starting over

Mercy knew that in letting him in she was making herself vulnerable yet again, she couldn't lie, when she fell, it was hard, she thought she was all in with Noah but this mate-ship had taken her feelings to a level she didn't know existed. She was ready for it, she kept telling herself she was, but deep down there were scars that hadn't been healed yet, she'd had no physical contact with a man since that night and her body was locked off, not at the possibilities, she craved sex but something inside her recoiled at the thought of someone else physically touching her without her seeing and knowing what they were doing. She cared what Sam thought about her, would he think she was too easy if she came on to him, would he be thinking she'd deserved everything that happened to her for being forward, how would he feel if she freaked at him touching her; hurt, rejected. She didn't actually know when or even how it happened, but he'd become her anchor and she couldn't see life progressing for her if she didn't have him to call on for every little thing, she shivered at the thought and frowned at the fact that one day, his heart would mend and he'd be ready to move on "Then what you going to do?" she sat asking herself, wondering if that was what she really wanted to happen, knowing she needed to start over

A new year was on it's way and maybe just maybe it will bring some of that courage her friends told her she had with it

**New Years Eve **

"Come on" Sam rushed her along saying "I've got to go all the way home get washed and dressed, and I'm still waiting on you"

"It takes time to look good"

"No it doesn't" came out of his mouth before he thought about it

"Before I feel good then" she stood in the doorway to the stairs telling him "Is this alright?" she stood looking at him, obviously unsatisfied with her look, she had black trousers and a long baggy washed out grey jumper on, with low heels, her hair tied back in a black elastic band and hardly any make up

"Yeah" he smiled "If you want to look like the most unattractive person in the room" he walked towards her "Listen, that shit didn't happen to you because your skirt was too short, or you asked them to by being too pretty, sexy or anything like that, you looked just right for you, it's their minds that need adjusting, they did something wrong not you, don't punish yourself for something they did"

"I tell myself all that, but I still come out looking like this" she looked down at herself

"Go back and try again, we'll wait until you get it right" he turned her around a pushed her towards the top step "Bring out Miss Fierce" he called after her "I want to fight tonight" he laughed as she looked back at him smiling. Twenty minutes later she came back up the stairs dressed in a strappy topped satin silver figure hugging dress. make up flawless with silver accessories and red nail polish matching the lips and shoes, her hair was up at the front in a neatly pleated bun with the back in a big loose curled swirl down her back "This feels alright" she stood in the door her hand on her hip looking a lot more confident "How does it look?"

"How you feel, I was only joking about fighting" he laughed "You look hot Miss Jones"

"You've got to say that" she laughed

"Stop fishing" he grabbed her hand and headed for the door, they got back to his, for him to get ready before he called a cab to get them to the club, an hour later they were sat outside the club. They'd gone to one on his side of town, the one in central brought back too many memories "Are you alright with this?" he asked watching her fiddle with her purse nervously

"You won't leave me will you?"

"Never" he grabbed her hand and squeezed it

"Come on then" she told him watching him walk around the car to get her out and grab her hand again

They eventually crossed the busy road and stood in the short cue waiting for entry "Come through" the doorman waved down the cue Sam and Mercy looked back to see who he was talking to "You" he pointed at Mercy smiling, watching her point at herself before he nodded again, she grabbed Sam's hand and walked towards him "You're on my guest list, is he with you?"

"Yeah" she looked back at Sam wondering what was happening

"Have a good night" he opened the barrier to let them through "And tell the bar Mike said you need bottle service"

"Excuse me" Mercy stopped she couldn't resist asking the question "Why are you doing this?"

"I work for Shane full time, this is a side hang, I see pictures of you every day" he smiled "You'll be taken care of in there" he nodded for her to carry on in

"I need to meet this Shane guy" Sam whispered in her ear as they entered the club

"You really don't" she stopped walking to tell him "I mean that"

"Okay I hear you" he looked at her, seeing there was no joke in her voice "What do you want to drink?" he followed the waiter to an empty table asking

"Spritzer"

"A spritzer and a cold beer please" he asked the same waiter, the night started out tame but as it moved on they got into dancing, flirting, and shots by 1am they'd had more than enough of everything, relaxed and happy "It's time to go" Sam giggled trying to grab her coat

"I've got it" she laughed pushing him to stand up straight "You're worse than me" she pulled him by the hand out the door, smiling at the doorman for getting them a cab ready "Thank you" she giggled pulling Sam in the cab with her

"Thank you" Sam laughed falling into the cab "You're staying at mine right?" he asked as she pulled the door shut

"Yes I'm staying at yours" she giggled "Someone's got to look after you"

They just about fell into the house, Mercy got him to his bedroom, before they both fell on the bed and conked out.

**New Years Day**

They woke up the next morning breathing in each others faces "Morning" Mercy smiled leaning in to gently kiss his lips

"Morning" he smiled pulling her in to kiss her again "Sorry" he pulled away opening his eyes fully to take in what he was doing

"It's fine" she pulled him into her telling him, desperately trying to close her mind to the last time she was in such a compromising situation, trying to feel the hands she wanted on her instead of cringing at the hands she was imagining being on her. She opened her eyes in an attempt to get the true visual of what was happening for her, forcing herself to get some satisfaction from what she wanted to happen here, her eyes looking at his needing face wondering if she was doing this because she wanted him or if she just needed to get past this hurdle in her life. She closed her eyes again to concentrate, trying harder to feel what she wanted her body to feel

Sam was very much experiencing desire, he wanted this his body was telling him he wanted it but his mind was silently taking control of the situation, he couldn't do this, not knowing what he knew, not to her. He was enjoying the moment, every second telling himself he'd stop when he needed to, his body of course was telling him there was no stopping

They were kissing, holding onto each other rolling around the bed fighting for top position, making sound as their arousal spiralled out of control, it was like a bolt of lightening that jerked them both as they suddenly realised they were stuck between lust and guilt, nothing seemed to be moving forward. They were kissing, she was waiting for him to make the next move, run his hand up her leg, feel her breasts anything to let her know this was going somewhere, he was fighting the feelings inside himself, as their lips hitting each other fiercely telling them that there needed to be something else, instinctively their eyes opened at the same time and they lay still looking at each other

"What's wrong?" she asked her hands grabbing the bedhead, right now she didn't know if that was in pleasure or for safety

"I..." he rolled off her laying on his back to look up at the familiar ceiling "I can't do this with you Mercy"

"Why, did I do something wrong?"

"No it's not you" he rolled his eyes before looking at her

"I have... I have to go, make yourself at home, I'll be back in a while" he jumped out the bed telling her grabbing fresh clothes as he walked towards the bathroom, she sat listening to him brushing his teeth and water splashing till he reappeared in the bedroom

"Where are you going, what did I do?" she sat up in his bed asking

"Honestly, I swear, it's not you" he sat on the bed pulling his sneaker on "I'll explain everything when I get back" he put his second sneaker on and left the room, she heard the front door bang shortly after and sat upset for what had just happened. She burst out crying at the thought of a man finding her so repulsive they actually left their own home to get away from her "11 damn men I wouldn't either" she told herself falling back on his bed to cry it out

**Sam**

"Fuck" Sam roughly turned the ignition in his car, trying not to look back at the house, because if he did he might just find himself back in there making the beginnings of a lie turn into a lifetime disaster. He needed this thing with Mercy to go wherever it felt like going, he knew she'd be sitting there right now thinking he was scorning her for what happened to her and nothing could be further from the truth, he was scorning his brother and his friends. He was fed up of keeping this secret for his brother, it was ruining his life, and living this lie while falling in love was tiring "Bugg" he looked up seeing the guy walking down the street with some of his boys, laughing like he had not a care in the world, he went to turn the car around to grab him and beat the crap out of him, he was about to turn the car when he checked his rear view mirror and saw others joining them, there were too many for him to handle, he sped up, he needed to get home

"Stevie" he shouted through the house as he pushed the door open

"Sam" he came out the kitchen smiling at his brother "Happy New Year, I thought you were going to call last night?"

"We need to talk"

"Happy New Year Stevie, sorry for breaking my word to..."

"Talk" he pulled him off to his bedroom

"What's up?" Stevie asked concerned as his brother pushed him into his room "Sam" he fell into the room shocked "What the fuck?"

"That woman you raped" Sam stood guarding the door

"I thought we agreed that was in the past"

"Your past my future" he told him "Sit down"

"You're shitting me up bro, what's going on?" Stevie sat down asking

"That woman, she saw me home that same night, I was too drunk to move, I was being mugged by some guys and she got me away from them, I didn't know her then and she didn't know me but then..." he looked around his brothers room "As luck would have it she helps one brother and then gets raped by the other"

"You know her?"

"I know her now, I've known her since a few weeks after when she turned up at my door, we started talking, became friends, best friends actually and now... Well now I think I'm in love with her and I need to tell her about what you did" he sat beside his brother telling him "I want to take this relationship to the next level, but I can't do that without telling her the truth, so I came to tell you I'm going to break that promise I made"

"You can't do that, you promised me" Stevie told him shocked "I can't believe you're putting some bitch between us"

"Some bitch?" Sam got up wanting to slap him "She's not a fucking bitch, you used her like she was, but she's respectable, more respectable than you" he hissed at his brother "I was in two minds when I burst through the door and saw your face, but fuck it you ain't even remorseful about what you and those dickheads did are you?"

"That was nearly a year ago, and it's not like I don't think about it every fucking day, I haven't been able to build any sort of relationship with a girl since that night" he looked into his brother's eyes telling him "I wake up at night scared from reliving the whole ordeal, I'm constantly scared of bumping into her..."

"And you think she isn't living like that too?"

"Sam you can't tell her, it will destroy me and it will break Mom's heart"

"And right now it's breaking mine, and hers and I'm sorry Stevie but I need to look out for both of us"

"Both of us Sam, it's always been us" he stood up telling his big brother

"Stevie I love her and I can't start a relationship with this hanging between us, it's not me, I've been trying for nearly 10 months now and I can't do it, I'm sorry"

"So you're telling me you want to break our family up for a damn girl?"

"She might be alright with it" Sam told him wondering where that came from

"You can't be serious" Stevie laughed

"Look you were the one who done the fucking gang rape not me, I don't see why I should be the one suffering here" Sam shouted at him

"Gang rape?" their Mom's blood drained face came around his bedroom door asking, they both looked at the door in shock before Stevie looked back at Sam with disappointment on his face "One of you had better tell me what's going on, and I want the damn truth" she looked at her sons the threat in her voice very real as she walked towards them "Sam?"

"It's not my story to tell" he looked at Stevie telling her

"Stevie?" she asked looking at him

"It happened months ago, I got in with some rough boys, trying to run to be a man I guess, they were initiating about 12 of us into the gang and as part of that we had to sleep with this woman" he told her, trying to dress it up, but she'd heard gang rape and his story didn't fit

"There's more" she told her son looking at him for the rest of the story, Stevie looked at Sam begging him for some help with this, they both knew her heart was going to break at hearing the story but neither of them dared to not tell her everything now she knew something. Stevie started telling her the story of that dreadful night when he along with maybe 10 other guys targeted an unexpecting woman on the street, kidnapped her and raped her in the woods while Bugg and his friends stood around watching and cheering them on. How they were all virgins so they really didn't know what they were doing and because of that some got beaten for messing things up and how Sam helped him the next day by taking him to the clinic, it broke their heart to see their Mother crying like a baby into her hands

"I'm ashamed" she told them, Stevie burst into tears at hearing her words "And you kept this to yourself?" she asked Sam "What's that teaching your little brother?"

"He was scared and genuinely sorry, I..."

"So what's brought all this up again now?" she butted in asking

"I fell in love with her" Sam told her his eyes holding his Mothers as he spoke, he told her his story from that night and what had happened since, how they'd grown close, she'd become his best friend and he hers, how they were trying to take things to the next level but this secret between them was keeping them apart and how he'd come to tell Stevie he couldn't keep his secret for him anymore

"I don't know which one of you have been more cruel" she spat at them "So that's where you were on Christmas Day?"

"Yes and last night"

"You need to tell her Sam" she grabbed his hand and squeezed it telling him "She'll leave you I'm afraid, but you need to tell her" she looked into his eyes telling him "And you need to go to the police and hand yourself in" she told her baby son "Your Father would be turning in his grave for this" she told them, she always used the Father card when things got serious, the guilt trip always worked "I'll come with you" she told Stevie

"I'll come with you guys, make sure this gets done" Sam stood up telling them

"I thought you said you'd left that girl at your place wondering what the hell was going on?"

"I did, but she'll be fine..."

"No Sam go home" his Mom told him pushing him to get out the bedroom door "I can take care of Stevie"

"Are you sure?" he looked from his Mom to Stevie, knowing the boy could be a handful if he needed to, and right now he thought he might need to

"Yes go deal with that girl"

"Alright but call me if you need me" he backed out the room

Up until that second he'd been all fired up about telling Stevie, now he'd closed the door his mind was swung to him having to tell Mercy all this, while trying to make himself look good, telling her he had feelings for her and trying to get her to admit, even after his revelations that she had feelings for him. He got in his car and sat for a while there was too much going on in his head, he needed to get everything in order before he got to her everything was bubbling inside him. Once this conversation was started their honeymoon period would be over before it even started, she'd be straight into the feuding, name calling and maybe even slapping before he could finish the sentence, he knew her, she was so fickle.

"Keep your cool" he told himself starting his engine "Keep your cool, whatever happens" he could be just as hyped as she could, at times they made each other laugh with their shit, but this time he had to remember that she had a legitimate reason to be pissed and no matter how angry he got at what she had to say, the very worst thing he could possibly do is lose his cool. He rolled his eyes at the thought of her voice going up another octave to follow his, her hand threatening to reach up and slap his fucking face off while his vein threatened to jump out of his forehead as the volume increased "That gets us nowhere" he told himself flicking his music on he seriously needed to chill that song from Christmas day **'Thinkin Bout You' by Ciara **screaming out at him, if this wasn't life changing stuff he might have smiled, he didn't even know she'd set up a playlist on his shit, instead he flicked it a few songs forward then turned it off "Clear head" he told himself as he pulled up outside his house.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sam's Home**

He sat in the car for a second watching the house, it looked so calm right now, no one would know there was going to be a tornado ripping through it any second, it was coming to destroy lives, break bonds and inspire hatred

"Sam" Mercy was suddenly stood in the doorway calling his name, his head shot up before he got out the car "I'm sorry" she wiped her eyes telling him

"What for?" he asked looking up as he shut the car door

"Whatever I did to offend you" she rubbed a tear from her cheek telling him "I never want to lose you as a friend"

"You didn't offend me" he smiled walking towards her "Come on let's go inside I have a confession"

"Confession?" she looked up at him asking

"Let's sit down" he moved away from her, walking over to the couch "Mercy" he watched her sit down before he moved to the chair across from her and sat down

"Sam" her eyes filled with concern

"You're going to hate me after this, I know you are..."

"I can't hate you Sam"

"Mercy trust me, you will but I want you to know, I was between a rock and a hard place with this, it's been on my mind since that day you told me what happened to you and..."

"I already know..." she looked at her hands telling him "...I'd find it hard too" she finally looked up at him "I imagine them all over me too, I think that's what stopped me earlier, you felt it didn't you?"

"Mercy, please let me finish" he sat forward in his chair, he'd hyped himself up for this he needed to get it out before he bottled it "You remember I told you I lied about having a brother when we first met?"

"Yeah" she giggled "Then you told me you'd lied and we agreed with could do without them"

"That's still true" he smiled "But Mercy" he looked at her, this was an impossible situation, all he felt was love and all he was instigating here was hate "I'm more than attracted to you, I guess you know that already" he rubbed his forehead "I'm not doing this well, Stevie he..."

"Stevie?" she asked wondering what he had to do with anything "You know I'm attracted to you too" she smiled "And I understand that you find it hard to be with me,, with knowing everything about what happened to me and everything. I guess you felt me pulling away earlier that couldn't have felt good for you either but honestly it wasn't you it was..."

"Mercy please, just let me get this out"

"Okay" she sat further back in the couch to let him have the floor

"Okay" he raked his hands through his hair, resting them on top of his head, everything in his head muddled as he wondered how to approach this conversation that was going to change his life "Okay"

"Not doing very well are you?" she smiled at his fretful face

"He was one of the guys" he blurted out, looking at her for a reaction

"One of the guys?" she asked puzzled at his revelation

"Yeah one of those guys" he told her still sat waiting for a lightbulb to come on

"Sam you're going to have to be more specific" she held her hands up telling him she had no idea what he was talking about

"That night, he was one of the guys"

"What night?"

"The night you got raped Mercy, Stevie was one of those guys" he felt like he'd said it angry, like he was almost calling her stupid in the way he'd delivered this life changing information, her face was blank

Mercy sat numb, she might have heard what she thought she'd heard, but then she might have thought it was some bite back for him rejecting her earlier "Stevie?" she asked "Your brother?"

"Yes but he was sorry as soon as he did it" Sam found himself defending his brother for his despicable actions

"He's sorry?" she got up her face still glazed as she walked over to the coat stand and grabbed her purse "I need to go" she opened her purse to get her phone out, sighing at the fact that it was dead "I need your phone" she told him without looking at him, he stepped towards her and was shocked at her screaming at the top of her lungs "No, don't, stay away" she cowered into the wall at him, he quickly stepped back "How long have you known?"

"That's not important right now, what's important is that you've had a shock and you shouldn't be alone just now"

"I need to go home" she told him still not looking at him

"I'll take you home" he told her "Just give it some time to sink in and I'll take you home"

"Call me a cab" she told him, as if his conversation hadn't taken place

"I can take..."

"Call me a fucking cab" she screamed at him, grabbing for the coat stand to defend herself

"Okay" he dialled a cab for her and put it on loud speaker for her to hear, they had this silent stand off for the next ten minutes until the cab got there "It's here" he told her when he heard the wheels screech to a halt "Mercy I'm really sorry about this, I hope we can get past this one day" he told her it didn't seem like she was listening but he hoped at some point his words would register. He watched her walk out the door, thinking to himself as a professional he could have handled that much better, but she never faired well with him using his profession on her and he guessed with something like this she'd appreciate it even less. The door shut and he rushed towards the window to make sure she was in the cab, distracted by his phone ringing "Mom"

"Stevie's done a runner" she told him

"I knew he would, I guess he's gone straight back to Bugg and his damn crew"

"I really wouldn't know where to start with that" she told him

"Mercy's just walked out, she just..." he looked back through the window to see the cab driving off "She's just drove off in a cab"

"How did it go?"

"She didn't speak, screamed when I went to touch her and left in a cab, I know that's frightening for her so the fact that she actually got in it means she's gone"

"I'm sorry" his Mom told him "And I'd love to spend another minute on that, but your brother's..."

"Missing, I know"

"Meet me at home and we'll go look for your brother"

"Give me half an hour" he told her closing the call down, he needed a second to think about what he'd just lost, when he found her it was all about Stevie and now she'd gone he'd still managed to take the limelight "Fuck" he kicked his soft tops off as he walked into his bedroom to grab his sweat suit and trainers, he didn't know when he'd started banging about but he had "Fuck" he hissed as it hit him what had just happened "Idiot" he came out of his bedroom and slammed the door shut, walking across the room to the hall and out the front door "Mercy" he gasped seeing her sitting on his front step "What are you doing?"

"I was too scared to get in the cab, can you take me home" she cried into her hands, he'd seen her crying many times before she'd gone through a long healing process and he'd shouldered a lot of it, but this was devastating, he'd been a part of the cause for this and he felt like shit. Her face had aged by maybe 5 years in those few minutes, she was a trembling wreck, he imagined she was close to where she'd been on the night of the incident

"Come on I'll take you home" he bent down to help her up

"Please" she pulled away from him "Please, don't touch me"

"I'm not going to hurt you Mercy, I'd never do that" he stood back up, hurt by her request

"I just need you to take me home" she stood up telling him

"Okay" he told her realising she'd need time to digest everything "Come on" he stepped off to open the passenger door for her, frowning when she ignored his gesture and sat in the back "Right" he slammed the door saying before getting in on the drivers side and starting the engine. He was displaying anger at the wrong person, Stevie was to blame for all of this, but right now he didn't know whether it was the shame of it all, or his reaction to her rejection, his blood was boiling in the worst way. The key spun in the ignition and turned it on he was that rough with it, the music started, he made to turn it off but he heard their song blasting out at them she wasn't going to listen to him but she'd have no choice but to listen to their song he turned it up and checked his rear view mirror, she wasn't looking at him but that didn't stop her hearing

"Turn it off" she told him after a while, he just turned it up more and carried on driving

**_"If you need me, call me, no matter where you are, no matter how far (don't worry, baby), just call my name..." _**he sang driving along, it wasn't anything strange for them they generally did it, he looked in his mirror again, this time she was looking at him but moved her eyes when he looked_** "Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough, to keep me from getting to you, babe..."**_ he smiled at her when he caught her looking again, she put her head down so he couldn't see her reaction, he carried on singing the songs as they came on the whole journey to her house

**Mercy's home **

"Can you walk me in?" she asked as they pulled up outside her house, he smiled but he was worried they were way past this months ago "And check the house"

"Sure" he jumped out and let her out the car watching as she opened the front door and stepped in before letting him pass her to get into her apartment

"Is everything alright, did you check downstairs?" she asked as she stood at the door waiting for him to finish checking

"Everything's fine" he smiled

"Thank you, bye" she held onto the door handle telling him

"Mercy just let me explain" he stopped before he reached the door begging her "Please"

"How long have you known Sam?"

His head dropped he knew he'd lost this conversation just on that one "I knew before I met you"

"Before you met me?"

"Stevie told me about it the next morning, I'd woke up and gone home, he was a wreck" he told her "I just wanted to help him, he made me promise I wouldn't say a word to anyone ever, and then he told me what the gang had made him and a few other guys do"

"Ten others actually"

"Yeah I know" he raked his hands through his hair "I didn't know it was you, until the police came and told me you'd brought me home and then got assaulted, I thought you'd been mugged or something I felt so bad" his eyes filling up "And then..."

"And then I turn up telling you it was me, and the first thing you thought was you needed to keep this fucking secret for your brother?" she asked her voice telling him she wasn't impressed

"No..."

"You know what?" she pushed the door shut and walked off into the living room "I get it" she chuckled "I might have kept it quiet for my brother had the shoe been on the other foot" she smiled, it wasn't a smile for him to join in with something was coming "But then to give me your fucking number and be my fucking one for nearly a year, that's more cruel than those fucking nasty bastards pawing at me, while I was blindfolded at least I knew they weren't my fucking friends, they came straight, you..." she hissed at him "You..." she picked the glass horse up off the coffee table and threw it at him in frustration for not being able to find the word

"Woow" he dodged out the way of it as he watched her reaching for something else, these were her Grandmothers treasured possessions he moved towards her fast and grabbed her hands "Mercy stop it" his voice stern but soft, his skills were kicking in now

"Let me go" she screamed at him before she started kicking, screaming and trying to get loose from him as she cussed and cried hysterically

"Mercy" he kept hold of her arms pulled her to him so her back rested on his chest and flung them both on her couch, he had a tight hold of her and could only wait until she stopped fighting him before he let her go "Relax" he kept whispering in her ear as she struggled to get free

"I hate you Sam Evans" she kept repeating

"But I love you Mercy Jones" he kept responding with, getting her mad in voice but he was calming her body

Suddenly there was silence and he was sitting holding her, he smiled at the breakthrough at least she didn't have the energy to be mad at him anymore "Did you make friends with me out of pity?" she asked

"No" he told her, still refusing to let her up "I made friends with you because I needed a friend, it got complicated on day one for me, I'd promised him something and he's blood, I didn't really know you at first did I?"

"But once you know what had happened to me and that it was your brother, why did you still hang around?"

"Because I... you'd grown on me, and you're a good friend, my best friend now a days"

"Well I hate you" she looked up at him "I really do, but I need my friend right now"

"I can be your friend" he hugged her tighter ready to sit in silence for a while until she wanted to speak again

"Who's that?" she asked hearing his phone ringing

"It's … my Mom" he told her before he remembered he needed to go find his brother "I forgot he was missing"

"The rapist?"

"Yeah I've got to help Mom find him"

"But I just told you I needed you right now" she turned to tell him the phone still ringing while they had their conversation

"Mercy I need to answer the phone anything could have happened"

"What like he could have raped again and needs you to hold his fucking secret" she hissed "Answer it then" she turned away from him as she spoke

"I told Mom I'd be half an hour, she thinks somethings happened to me"

"Answer it then" she repeated, he knew it was a loaded response, but his Mom didn't usually let it ring for this long, something was up, he pressed the green button and answered the call

"Mom what's up" he asked watching Mercy pull herself away from him "I'm at Mercy's, I Really can't deal with that now" his eyes watching her walk around the living room "Mom" he rolled his eyes at whatever she was saying to him, his voice shaky before the silence "Don't cry, I'll be there as soon as I can, I promise" he sat on the phone listening to whatever she was saying for a while "As soon as I can Mom" he told her closing the call down

"So you're going to leave me to tend to my rapist?" she looked up from the pieces of china she was sweeping up

"Mercy" he rolled his eyes at the impossible situation she'd presented, his Mom was hysterical on the phone, he was playing it down because he didn't want to spark her up again, but he had to go

"You should go" she stood up telling him

"I..." he ducked as he watched her pick up the picture of them she'd brought a frame for the week before "Mercy" he shouted as it left her hand and attempted to connect with his head

"Fucking missed" she hissed "You should go before I..."

"I shouldn't, but I have to, it's my Mom" he stood up looking at the ripped picture mixed with shattered glass on the chair and floor

"And your rapist brother" she reminded him

"I'll come back as soon as I've sorted Mom out" he stepped towards the door walking past her "And I'm sorry, we'll talk more when I get back" he made to hug her but she moved away from him, he didn't have time to react, he stepped past her and opened the door "Bye" he turned to tell her

"Bye Sam" she smiled walking to the door following him, watching him step out the door "And don't come back" she slammed the door in his face. He stood at the door feeling helpless, what was he expecting, really, he was going to support the guy that did that to her, did he really think she was going to ever support him doing that. There was nothing he could do right now he had his Mom on his mind he walked away, got in his car, turned the engine on, the music off and made the journey back to his Mom's house in silence.

**Sam's Mom's Home**

"Finally" his Mom jumped up as he walked into the house "Your brother's still missing, they could be asking him to do anything, right now he thinks we're against him, his mind isn't right, I'm so scared for him" she fell onto her son's chest after loading all that pressure on him

"We'll find him, he'll come home" Sam told her as he wrapped his arms around his Mom, he couldn't even tell her he believed that, right now he wished he'd get lost for real

"We won't know that until we get out there" she lifted her head off his chest telling him

"Mom" he sighed "It's been the worst day for me Stevie needs to choose his path in life, we can't do that for him"

"What are you saying that we should give up on him?"

"Not give up, just let him learn by his own mistakes, if we're covering this up now at 17 what are we going to hiding for him at 21?"

"I don't want him to cover this up I want him to own up to his part in it"

"Yeah" he huffed "That's what I wanted too, but in asking him to do that we're asking him to grass on not only that rat Bugg but the other guys and putting ourselves at risk, that's why he ran to save us"

"By letting those thugs go free?"

"That's the way things are today Mom, he tells and we're dead"

"We can get protection from the police"

"It's not only Bugg we've got to think about" he sat down, watching his Mom sit down too, interested in what he had to say "Mercy has a brother, he's a thug, I mean a real one, not playing around like Bugg and his stupid crew, a thug" he sat forward "If she's angry enough to tell him..." he shook his head "Sorry Mom but we're fucked, Stevie picked the wrong woman"

"So why hasn't he been looking already?" she sat back trying not to believe what her son was telling her

"She hasn't told him, because she didn't want him walking around shooting every eligible man in the town, plus she had me to confide in"

"So keep confiding make sure she doesn't tell him"

"She just told me not to come back because I chose Stevie's ass over hers" he huffed "And I'm not about to start playing games with her again, even for you"

"It's for all of us" she shouted at him

"I'm not doing it Mom, I'm not that person"

"I know" she told him "Sorry" she smiled "We'll work it out"

"And I need to go work it out with Mercy"

"Stevie should be your priority right now" she told him watching him get up, walk over to her and kiss her forehead before he left the room

**Mercy **

Mercy stood watching the slammed door, it wasn't just Sam that had left in that second something else had but she couldn't name it, she just knew it hurt and whatever she thought she felt before he walked out that door was much more of an ache to the thumping, stabbing pain she was feeling right now. She was hot, it felt like her insides were on fire, like she'd just drunk a full glass of fire and had no way of controlling the effects, she finally couldn't take it anymore, screaming she fell to the floor.

It took her a while to get her bearings but once she did she crawled over to grab her charger, plugged her phone in breathing fast and irregular, she needed someone there because surely she was going to die "Tina" she gasped when her friend answered "I need you to come home" her voice panicking and full of fear

"Mercy what's happened?" Tina asked instantly panicked "I'm on my way" she told her

Mercy put the phone down and cried, that was all she'd had the strength to do, she'd taken Sam in as a really good friend, the fact that he knew everything about what had happened to her allowed her to be free with him. She knew after their first mate he was someone special, and the way he'd acted made her feel she was someone special to him too, and now this. It wasn't like she didn't believe his story she actually did, it was that all that time she'd felt like she was the most important person in his life, the way he'd given his family up for Christmas sort of sealed it for her, and then to find out he was keeping a bigger secret for his brother, hurt her feelings, deeper than she was willing to admit.

Of course Tina had to have the conversation with Artie and her family, but they knew Mercy well, they'd been told about her recent misfortune and were more concerned than Tina at the conversation. By the evening she was packed and sitting on a flight ready for whatever was going on with her friend this time around, it couldn't be any worse than her last news

Mercy finished cleaning up the broken china and glass ripping the picture she'd destroyed in two before throwing everything in the bin, it seemed like only minutes had gone by as she sat listening to the street noise, her mind wondering into the past, pictures of time she'd spent and things she'd shared with Sam coming vividly to mind, some making her smile, some leaving her feeling sick, cold or warm "What?" she jumped at her bell ringing, rolling her eyes at the Sam of it all "I told you..." she walked towards the window ready for him shocked to see Tina standing there "How did you get here so fast?" she asked as she went to press the buzzer to let her in "Hi" she stood at her front door watching Tina coming towards her with her small suitcase

"This had better be good news" she dropped the bag at the front door and slammed the door behind her

"T" Mercy smiled, before the frown and then the tears followed

"What happened?" Tina hugged her asking

It was a while before Mercy stopped crying enough to answer the question, she came at her friend with some half story, telling her she'd found one of the rapists, that she was scared again and she needed her friend, while Tina sat piecing her half truths together

"Hold up" Tina told her as she tried to carry on ranting "How do you know it's the guy, you were blindfolded weren't you?"

"Yeah but I just know" Mercy told her eager to carry on with her ranting

"No, Mercy Jones, that is not it, you are not fucking me off with that stupid shit, what's the truth?"

"I'm telling you the truth"

"You're not" Tina told her getting up and going towards the kitchen "I need a coffee,,, do you want one?"

"No, I'm fine" Mercy sat back, trying to sort her story out in her mind before her friend got back to the couch, she'd told so many version to cover things up she'd forgotten some of it

"Who's this?" Tina asked holding the ripped pieces of the photo she'd put in the bin

"What are you doing in my damn bin?" Mercy got up asking

"It was open"

"It's one of my colleagues from work"

"Who just happened to be in your house at Christmas?" Tina asked piecing the thing together "And why are you cheek to cheek with your work colleague?"

"We get on"

"So he's the reason you didn't come with us for the holidays?"

"We were both alone so we had Christmas dinner here"

"But you were having dinner with the pastor and his family weren't you?"

"Yeah but then we met up at church and decided to have dinner together"

"What, and Mercy, who shops on a daily basis rather than weekly, had all the fixings for a Christmas dinner sitting in the fridge?"

"Tina" Mercy whined

"Well stop with the bullshit Mercy" she hissed "What's his name?"

"Emm" she wasn't ready for that

"Bullshit" Tina laughed "Who is he, what the hell do you think I can do about it anyway?" she watched Tina pour the hot water into her cup and walk towards the couch

"He's Sam" she followed her back to the couch and sat down "We met that night I was attacked, he was the guy on the bench"

"The drunk?" Tina set the picture out on the coffee table to look at it again "You never said he was a young handsome drunk" she laughed "Have you been seeing him all this time?"

"Well I made contact about 6 weeks after, it was ironic really his girlfriend was with Noah that night"

"Santana, I remember her" Tina nodded

"She'd just gone off with Noah at the club that night, he was drowning his sorrows"

"He has something to do with all this doesn't he?" she looked at Mercy suspiciously "Don't tell me he was one of the guys?"

"No" she giggled "He helped me get my confidence back, we started out as mate's we went out for drinks, talked a lot on the phone, laughed at everything, we like the same music, we stay at each others homes sometimes, he's..." she sat wondering what to say next "Somewhere along the line he's become more than a friend, we've been together nearly every weekend since the incident and then Christmas day we kissed" she huffed "We brushed it off mainly because I wasn't confident enough, or so I thought, then last night we went out, had a really good time and ended up at his house"

"And you slept with him?"

"No" she wiped a wondering tear from her eye "We nearly did, I think we both wanted it but then he just stopped, I must admit I was a bit head fucked about it, but then he just got up, told me it wasn't me it was him and left"

"So you came home and ripped his picture up?"

"He asked me to wait at his for him to come back so I did" she wiped her face again "And when he came back he told me..." she let her tears fall, her hands covered her face while her shoulders jerked

"Girl" Tina hugged her "Not everyone is going to be able to cope with what happened to you, even you, it will take time, if he's into you he'll be back" she rubbed her back as she spoke

"You don't understand, when he came back he told me his brother was one of the guys that raped me that night"

"What?" Tina lifted her off her chest asking "Did you call the police?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because" she looked up at her friend "I think I like him Tina, it's not like Noah, this is built on something, I hate him right now, but I have feelings for him"

"He obviously doesn't have them back"

"But he does, that's why he couldn't go through with things this morning, he went to tell his brother he needed to give himself up, and that he chose me over him"

"Are you defending this bastard?"

"He's not a bastard, he's kind, considerate, loving, sweet, romantic, everything I ever wanted in a man T, I really like him"

"So why isn't he here with you now, why did you have to call me?"

"You know me I act first and think after, he took a call from his Mom and I was pissed because he wanted to go to her"

"His Mom seriously, you wanted him to choose you over his Mom?"

"No" she giggled "I was reacting"

"Has his brother handed himself in?"

"I don't know I didn't ask, and I didn't give him to opportunity to tell me"

"You need to tell the police Mercy"

"I know what I should do T, it's what I want to do that scares me"

"At least make him sweat about it" Tina laughed "And have you thought about how you're going to feel when you meet his brother?"

"I don't intend on meeting his brother and I don't think he intends it either" she smiled "Anyway we've barely gotten past our first kiss, all that's a way off"

"I know you're going to do what you're going to do, and it's your call as usual, but all I ask is that you reflect on how you got into that rut with Noah and change"

"Preach" she giggled wiping her wet face

"Preach to deaf ears I know" Tina rolled her eyes at her friend smiling

"I had a bit of a meltdown when he told me, smashed Grandma's china horse" she pointed at the table where it used to live "He's nothing like Noah and yes I learned lessons" she smiled "And he's going to more than sweat about this"

"And the fact that his brother was a part of all that shit that happened to you?"

"Is still a fact, I've done so well to get past that, I mean I've had the urge to... you know, with Sam I mean, and I think when he's ready he'll push it just enough, but his brother's a factor for him too, he denied he existed when we first met"

"I guess that's something else you guys have in common" Tina laughed

"Yeah" she smiled "Thanks for coming, I just needed someone to talk to, someone that was on my side, I just felt so alone"

"I've got to say, for what you went through, I really don't understand this dilemma, but I have to respect your decision, and of course I love you"

"I love you back girl" she picked her phone up off the coffee table and turned it on seeing Sam had left a message "Can I come stay with you guys for a while"

"Sure" Tina replied, they sat hugging each other before Mercy got up to pack some things and they made their way over to Tina's

**Sam**

Sam had got outside his Mom's house and called Mercy 'Ms Jones is not available right now could you please leave a message' he heard without it even ringing telling him her phone was off

He rolled his eyes before leaving his message "Mercy I'm on my way back over to you, we need to talk" he told her, knowing it wasn't something she was going to listen to any time soon

"Sam" his Mom appeared at the front door waving at him "Sam" she called again

He wound the window down frowning "What's up?"

"He just called, he said he'd local" she told him as she jumped in his car while she spoke

"I'm.." he was about to tell her he was on his way to Mercy's house, but thought better of it, rolling his eyes when she burst into tears

"You boys will be the death of me" she told him as he moved off the drive and headed downtown wondering when anyone was going to take his fucking life as the priority, he left home because of all this shit, always being their fucking keeper, they both needed to realise he wasn't the father of the family he was just the eldest son "I don't mean you Sam" she rested her hand on his arm "And I know I'm doing it again with making all this your responsibility, I'm sorry"

"It's fine Mom" was all he could find to say, the more time he spent away from Mercy the more she was seething, imagining he was protecting Stevie, helping him concoct a story, or even on his damn side, when nothing could be further from the truth

"Where are you going?" she asked when he turned down a side street

"I saw Bugg around here the other day and I thought maybe... we never know, it's local, we don't have any other leads do we?"

"I'm happy clutching at anything I can get right now"

"He'll be alright Mom" he told her as he started scanning the paths for groups of guys, four hours later they were still crawling around the same streets looking for him, silently hoping he'd told their Mom the truth when he said he was local "We need to go home, have a break, get something to eat and come out again later"

"It'll be night then"

"He goes out at night Mom" Sam rolled his eyes at his Mom's ridiculous, turning the car to get home "What's..." he backed the car up a bit more than he had to for something he'd seen in his rare view "Stevie" relief in his whisper as he saw the silhouette of his brother sitting in a vacant shop doorway, he didn't even wait for the car to stop properly before he jumped out and ran over to him. It was too late to run by the time Stevie actually saw him, he didn't even think about it, or try to get up even, Sam was one of the best cross country runners at school, and he'd never really given that up, it was a hobby now, he wasn't going to get very far and probably earn himself a few more punches

"Sam" his eyes full of fright as his brother came towards him "I was..." he held his hands up to guard his face seeing the anger on his brother's face

"You little fucker" Sam grabbed hold of him by his t-shirt neck "You had Mom fucking crying you little shit" his arm came round and pulled him in to him "Why the fuck did you run off?" he hugged him asking, more relieved to see him safe than he dared to admit

"I'm scared" he cried into his brother's chest "I'm fucking scared" he bawled while Sam held him

"It's okay" Sam told him "It's going to be alright" he rocked his sobbing brother telling him, and he meant every word, he was between two very hard rocks now he realised he didn't want to see his brother behind bars or hurt in any way "It's alright" he kissed his head telling him

It had all happened so quickly it took their Mom a few seconds to register what was going on, she sat in the car trying to see what Sam was doing in that corner, it wasn't until she saw him hug someone that it clicked what was happening. She jumped out the car and ran over to her sons "Stevie" she shouted hysterically running faster than any of them had ever seen her run, Stevie chuckling for a second at the scene before she got to him "Thank god" she slapped into his chest to stop herself running, Sam stood watching her slap kisses all over his brother's face

"Let's go home" Sam finally decided, guiding everyone to the car

The journey back was all about Stevie, what he shouldn't have done, what he needed to do, what he'd been doing, their Mom treated him like he was still a baby most of the time and if he were to be asked Stevie loved it almost as much as Sam hated being treated like the Father.

He was in the car but his mind was on Mercy, he'd understood her behaviour earlier, she'd felt as a child that the women in her family always put men first, resulting in her Mom's early death, her Aunt's mental health, which finally saw her succeeding in one of her many attempts at suicide, and her Grandma's bitter heart, which was broken by her woman crazy Grandfather many years ago, she wasn't going that way. But then she'd met that idiot Noah and he'd got her like that, she just couldn't help falling hard, she always laughed saying it was in her DNA and maybe she'd fallen hard for him, he could hope

His story wasn't much different, he'd fallen in love with the first girl that showed any interest once he'd left school, he was a bit of a player at school and learned his lesson when he ended up in a fight with a guy over this guys girl, he'd kissed her, well actually she'd kissed him and made it out to be something it wasn't, just to see if her guy loved her. That fight left him with a broken wrist, he lost a few friends over it too and it was that day he learned girls weren't to be played with, they were dangerous, but he fell hard too, he couldn't see it then but Brittany treated him like a mat, and all he had to say about it was "More please" until that day he caught her in bed with someone he thought was a random, he cried in front of them when she told him she'd just agreed to marry the man, it took him a while to shift the blame back to her but he did eventually and rebounded with Santana, he didn't even miss that one.

So when their friendship came along, it was just the right thing at the right time for them, they needed to learn something else about relationships, something fresh, and this mate thing they had going on filled the gap, all the activity, expect sex, without the complications of relationship stuff, they'd had it all for 9 months, he of all people should have realised that good things don't last forever.

He sat deep in thought, gripping the steering wheel, trying to think of the exact moment that love crept into this mate-ship for him, he couldn't find it, maybe he'd loved her all along "Maybe" he smiled

"What was that?" his Mom asked watching him look in the rear view mirror at her

"Pardon?"

"I thought I heard you say something"

"No, just driving" he smiled back at her

They finally got back home and sat talking while their Mom prepared something to eat, Stevie had explained to them that he'd rather Mercy tell on him, because for him to hand himself in wouldn't be safe for the family, and he explained to his Mom that he couldn't give the names of anyone else because that would mean certain death for all of them. Sam disclosed that Mercy's brother was a hardcore brother who took no shit, and how if Mercy went to him there'd be no need for police or protection, so they agreed they'd sit and wait for the police to knock the door and deal with whateveer came from that. Their Mom couldn't get past the fact that the law was the law and they were there to protect, if they couldn't protect the family when they needed it, what use did they have

"Life's not like that anymore Mom" Stevie told her "The worlds a dangerous place"

"These stories make me want to stay indoors" she came to the table with two plates in her hand, putting one down in front of both her children "Eat up"

"Yeah and on top of the drugs, guns, knives and bombs we have rapists as well" Sam added, he couldn't help saying it Mercy was flashing through his mind

"Yeah" Stevie looked at him begging for forgiveness "I don't think there's ever going to be anything in my life I regret more than that night"

"Me neither" Sam replied "I wish you'd never told me"

"You two are seriously not talking about a girl again are you?" their Mom came to the table with her plate asking "You're not about to let a girl come between you are you, not after everything we've just said?"

"What have we just said?" Sam asked

"That woman has your brother's life in her damn hands, and you sit here, at our table, defending her..."

"So what, now Stevie was right in what he did?" Sam jumped up shouting "Do you guys understand what she's been through, what she's going through even?" he looked from one to the other asking "We're good friends best friends, we slept in the same bed last night, as friends, that's how much she trusted me, and then this morning I walk in and break her fucking heart telling her about Stevie, she was scared of me, scared, like I was the fucking rapist, she threw things at me, swore at me and told me to get out of the life" he spat "She trembled with fear when I went to touch her, me, I mean I slept next to her last night she trusted me with her life, and now...you want me to be her enemy because my brother raped her and I don't agree with it?"

"That's not what I was implying" his Mom told he shocked at his outburst

"I'm not on Stevie's side Mom, and you need to recognise that he's wrong in what he did, and that there's someone suffering out there as a consequence to his actions"

"I know that" she told him "But I'm... I'm fighting for my son's life here Sam, I'd do the same for you"

"And I'm fighting for my life here Mom, I told her because I couldn't go on being in love with her and living this lie, do you really think I'd put Stevie at risk for nothing?"

"No" Stevie butted in "I know you wouldn't" their eyes connecting at his comment "And I'm sorry I made you do that, I hope it's not too late for you two"

"I don't know what it is for us, I left her in a bad place, texted her hours ago that I was on my way, and now it looks like I've sided with you again on this by not turning up"

"If she loves you, everything will be alright" his Mom told him

"Really?" he asked wanting to believe what she was telling him but knowing Mercy at the same time "I have to go" he grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair he was sitting on "I guess all we can do is wait" he told them "See you tomorrow" he didn't even wait for them to reply he was out the door and sitting in his car ready to make the journey back to Mercy's to face the music. He took his phone out and tried to call again, maybe absence had made her heart grow fonder, this time it rang but she didn't answer, he left another message telling her he was on his way and that they really needed to talk about this, switching his music on he rolled his eyes before talking to it "Sorry" he told the machine shaking his head for going back to that playlist after all this time. This time it maybe had a different meaning because this wasn't just about love, they had another relationship, they were mates and although he was sure she needed him right now, he knew he needed her more, he was the one getting this from all sides "Just our shit" he huffed as **'Mercy Mercy Me' by Marvin Gaye **came at him, he put it on repeat and drove over to her house

Woo ah, mercy mercy me, ah things ain't what they used to be, no no, where did all the blue skies go?  
Poison is the wind that blows from the north and south and east, woo mercy, mercy me, ah things ain't what they used to be, no no, ...

"I really can't see a good ending to this, but I have to try" he told himself as the car stopped outside her house


	5. Chapter 5

**Mercy **

Mercy had got to Tina's and dived straight into the pool, she didn't want to talk about it anymore, she didn't want to think about Sam for another second right now, because if she did she'd remember where he was and that would bring on the rage she had firing inside her "It's way past bedtime Mercy are you not tired?" Tina asked stood by the pool side waiting for her to get to the end

"My brain's still in overdrive T, I'll be a while"

"Don't think on that damn man too hard"

"I might sleep down in the cabin, my music and me you know" she looked up at her friend smiling

"That's what my girl does" Tina smiled before walking off, she was smiling because Mercy had got to the music point a lot faster than she usually did, it generally took her months to reach a decision enough to sing about it, no doubt she'd hear about it in the morning, she was going off to fill Artie in on the days events and maybe fit in some phone sex she'd traded off with, for going home a day early

It might have been an hour or even two later before Mercy finally decided to get out the pool and make her way to the cabin, she'd spent too much time thinking about her life, parents, grandmother, Noah, the rape and now... this more than enough pain for one person in one lifetime, she put the fire on, stood in the shower crying for a while before wrapping herself in a fluffy dressing gown and sat at the piano ready to search her soul for a feeling, any feeling, she started with the usual choir rehearsal songs and finished up crying out some real feelings nearly two hours later, she was singing her rendition of **'Recipe' by Keke Palmer **

_I know I get distant and I pull myself away, even overwhelmed with the simple day today, memory's a tragedy, consume my brain_  
_ These are the recipes, the recipes to going insane, these are the recipes to going insane, oh-oh-oh, these are the recipes to going insane_  
_And no I never ever thought I'd get this far, my start was rocky and my trials were hard, I feel anxious I'm depressed_  
_ Heart is beating out my chest, damn I think I need some rest, but I'll just sleep when I'm dead, word to drizzy, I'm upset_  
_ Social life is a mess, everything is a wreck, and I blame myself, ooh_  
_ I know I get distant and I pull myself away, I get overwhelmed with the simple day today, memory's a tragedy, consume my brain_  
_ These are the recipes to going insane, these are the recipes to going insane, my life's a recipe for going insane, whoa-oh-oh_  
_ Insane, insane _

"But despite all that you know you love him" she told herself wiping the tears from her face "So what are you going to do about it?" she got up and went to the bedroom, daylight was nearly breaking and she was sure he'd be wearing the battery down on her phone all day once it cracked, she plugged it in for charging and lay thinking how she needed to make him pay before she could even think about forgiving him "Does that mean you're going to forgive him?" she fell asleep with tears and that thought

**Sam & Mercy **

He knew she wasn't in as soon as he saw there was no light on, no matter what, if she was in at night the kitchen light was on giving the elusion that she was up, but he got out the car and rung the bell anyway, he couldn't get close enough to look through the window without falling down to the basement level. She'd left at night, he knew that because all the curtains were closed, and he had an idea of where she might have gone "They're not back till Thursday" he told himself as his mind flashed on Tina. He'd never met this friend of hers and he'd never pushed it to meet her he respected that she wanted to keep her two lives separate and it brought some excitement and mystery with him being a dirty secret, plus he'd never wanted her to meet his family or to be more specific Stevie.

He looked around the dark street, not even a stray cat on it and decided to go back to his car, he didn't usually knock the door at night anyway, they used phones, he got back in the car and decided 4.45 in the morning was a decent time to make a call of concern so he did. He took his phone out and called her, knowing she wasn't going to answer at this time in the morning, coupled with the fact that she'd told him not to come back an answer was a bit of a tall order anyway

"Hello" he heard her voice over the phone, he was so surprised he forgot what he wanted to say

"Mercy, it's Sam where are you?"

"Sam" she sat up in her bed "I'm not speaking to you"

"I know but can you just listen to me just for a second"

"A second"

"Mercy I .."

"Seconds up" she told him and put the phone down

"Okay, maybe I didn't mean an actual fucking second" he looked at his dead phone half laughing, before he dialled again "Mercy" he rolled his eyes at her answer machine "You know I didn't mean an actual second" he left the message before laughing to himself and turning on the engine, he checked his mirror, and started on the drive home listening his sad playlist, minutes later he was smiling at his phone ringing, at that time it could only be one person, he answered the call "What do you want?" he asked laughing

"I guess I was maybe a bit quick on that second" she giggled "What do you have to say, why did you abandon me?"

"My Mom was crying down the phone at me, pulling at my heart strings" he told her

"I guess I can give you that one" she frowned "Sorry, I warned you I was a mess of a mood driven bitch" she told him half laughing

"You did" he laughed

"Are you driving?"

"Yes why?"

"Where have you been?"

"I was sitting outside your house, I'm on my way home now"

"Why?"

"Because we need to talk, where are you anyway?"

"I don't want to see you yet, we can talk on the phone"

"What so you can throw it down whenever the conversation gets difficult?" he laughed "I'll wait until you're ready"

"There are hoops involved" she warned

"I guessed there would be, I'm ready to jump and ask how high afterwards"

"Have you been to sleep yet?"

"I couldn't even think about sleep knowing you were thinking bad things about me, I meant what I said earlier, I... I love you"

"Can I reserve judgement on that?"

"You can, but there's no need, it's true" he paused for her to take that in "You?"

"What?"

"Been to sleep?"

"I'm just in bed now, I was getting to grips with my feelings"

"So what did you feel?" he asked settling down into his car seat, he could talk to her till the birds stopped singing

"If I told you that I guess you'd call end game Evans" she giggled

"That's my kind of feeling" he moved in his chair "This morning..." he stopped waiting for her response but got none "I mean yesterday morning I was so tempted, I don't know when we got past mates but..."

"Way past mates" she giggled

"Yeah way past mates" he laughed "We need to talk"

"I said I can't right now, not about that anyway"

"And I respect that, it was just to stop me from saying something I really want to say" he laughed

"You're always talking to yourself" she giggled "You need a therapist"

"Really" he laughed "You might be right, I guess everyone does at some point in their lives"

"Your time is definitely here Evans"

"So you acknowledge I need to talk then?" he asked "I'm home" he told her stopping the engine and getting out the car

"I'll let you get some sleep"

"I'll let you" he laughed "Goodnight"

"Goodnight"

"Hey" he grabbed her attention "I love you"

"I love... Sam" she giggled "You nearly got me" she told him cutting the call off

**One Week Later**

**Sam**

They were still in contact every night, their conversations were getting longer but still she wasn't up for seeing him to talk about the real issue between them, Stevie was still at home, stressing out for when the police were turning up and Sam refused to broach the subject with Mercy. Everything was becoming stressful his Mom was constantly shouting, Stevie seemed depressed with the situation and he was good with burying his head in the sand and thinking about himself

"Sam" his Mom asked one afternoon watching him getting ready to leave for home "We need you to find out what that girl intends on doing it's not fair for Stevie, for us to live like this"

"But we think it's fair for her to have to live with what he did for the rest of her life, she can't just throw it off because he says a simple sorry, she's scared"

"Your brother's sorry, you know he is"

"I'm sorry Mom"

"So you choose this girl..."

"Don't tell me I'm choosing sides, there's a right and a wrong and those are the only sides to this"

"I... where are you going?" she asked watching him step off in the middle of their conversation "I'm talking to you"

"Mom" he turned back rolling his eyes

"Don't you dare disrespect me" she pointed in his face telling him

"I'm not" his face dropped like a schoolchild being told off "She might go home today and I just need to go check"

"So call her"

"She won't tell me the truth"

"And your choosing her over your family?" she pulled at his jacket asking him "Look Sam, I've stood back and watched you over the week and you're doing an awful lot of running for this girl, I don't see her putting any effort in, I don't want you getting hurt at the end of all this"

"You don't know her, and I am trying to make all this up to her, I expect to run around"

"Are you sure about your feelings?" she asked concerned "I mean all you ever talk about is her feelings and making things up to her, are you sure that's not the attraction here?"

"It's not the attraction Mom" he smiled "I love her"

"Does she love you back?"

"She hasn't said it yet, I mean I didn't actually get the guts to tell until the day I told her about Stevie, so I guess she hasn't had time to look at those feelings yet"

"You're being so professional about this, if it's someone you love you can't be using therapy on their every move"

"That's why this is taking so long because she'd hate it if I used that on her, and she'd know"

"So what's the plan?" she let go of him and sat at the table to listen

"I don't plan Mom, she's not someone to be worked, she's at school at the moment, that's what she does teaching and I plan on turning up there today and trying to make her realise she misses me, tomorrow will plan itself based on what happens today" he laughed "Because I love her"

"Okay" she smiled standing up to reach up and stroke her son's cheek "I'm happy you love like that" she looked into his eyes, sad at seeing signs of stress in them "But it's still not as much as I love my boys"

"I love you Mom, you know I do"

"I know you do, but this is different, she might be your one"

"She is my one"

"Go" she kissed his cheek and let him go, she stood watching him knowing if this was going to get sorted, as the Mother she was going to have to take charge of the situation, she grabbed her keys and made ready to leave the house

**Mercy **

Mercy was still sleeping at Tina's every night, Artie was back home but busy with work and today was the first day back at work for Mercy and Tina, they had breakfast together before leaving to got to their schools, Tina promising to pick Mercy up after choir. The day was busy as usual, the children and their inquisitive minds kept her focused the whole day, her mind wondered to Sam for a few minutes at lunch time, she knew he'd had an extra day off and was tempted to call him up to meet, but the emergency meeting twenty minutes before the end of the lunch break shattered that thought.

The end of the day came quickly and her choir kids had auditioned for their part in the Easter play so now she had a decision to make on who was getting which part, she sat at the piano talking to the band when Tina came into the auditorium smiling "Hi" she smiled at Mercy being all professional

"Hi" Mercy turned smiling at the familiar voice "Give me a minute" she told her before carrying on her conversation before dismissing the band "Are we ready?" she turned to her friend asking as she walked towards the chair her purse and briefcase were sat on

"I thought we could have a bit of conversation" Tina sat down telling her

"What you want me to move out?"

"No" she giggled "You can be a roomy for life if you want you know that" she looked at her still smiling "it's been a week since you told me all that about that Sam guy and his brother and then nothing, I was just wondering what's happening there?"

"Nothing I just need time I guess"

"How much time do you need before you report that bastard to the police?"

"I...its difficult" Mercy threw her bags on the floor and sat on the chair "I love..."

"Please girl" Tina held her hand up at her "You know me when it comes to difficult conversations, the Queen of and all that" she moved her butt to the edge of the chair "I have a theory" she told Mercy watching her roll her eyes as she'd expected "This Sam guy knew before he even met you, and yeah it might have been a coincidence initially, but when he found out it was you, they planned to keep you close"

"That's sick"

"You say that because you're too close" Tina held her finger up wanting Mercy to listen to her theory "Then this guy plays nice, don't forget you've already told him about your past failed relationships so he knows what works, he's a fucking Therapist for fuck sake, it's like a basic instinct thing, total mind fuck" she narrowed her eyes at the conspiracy of it all "So now you think you're in love with the enemy, you really feel it, but it's all part of the betrayal, the game, you need to play him right back and report their asses"

"You don't even know Sam, if you did you'd know he's not like that"

"So he couldn't have done a number on you?"

"He could have, anyone can do a number on any one, but this isn't one of those times"

"How do you know?"

"I just know, the way he makes me feel, the way I need him, I can't explain it"

"Explain it" Tina demanded

"We haven't you know yet, but I've hand his arms around me, his lips on mine, and my mind is fucking blown T, I'm not talking lights, fireworks or anything like that"

"So there's no spark?"

"I'm talking like Independence Day blowing up the fucking US Bank Tower" Mercy's eyes wide as the relived the feeling "He sees me and that's important to me"

"That's ridiculous" Tina laughed

"But true" Mercy giggled tapping some notes on the piano "You hear me better when I sing" she turned to face the piano to sing to Tina how she felt, the melody to **'Beauty Marks' by Ciara **being her feeling of choice

_Oh, what a feeling, to wake up everyday, knowing I am loved by you, I can't believe it, what did I do to deserve someone to hold me like you do_  
_ If nobody's perfect, then all that I want, is to be imperfect with you_  
_ Cause you take me as I am, and I take you as you are, with your hard and weathered hands, and the bruises on my heart_  
_ That make me who I am, that make you who you are_  
_ Baby, when you take my hand, you show me that my scars are beauty marks, oh, beauty marks, beauty marks_...

Tina sat listening to the song feeling strangely proud of her best friend, she'd come through something awful and somewhere in there she'd found someone to accept her for exactly who she was, not what those bastards had made her feel like she was, these were her feelings to have and who the hell was she ever going to think she was to take them away from her. This was her hope, maybe even her dream since all this started, she smiled remembering Mercy was still singing as her eyes fell back on her seeing she was somewhere else with the words she was singing, tears rolling down her face telling them both this thing was real

_…...Now I know what true love means, so real, it feels like a dream, no looking back to the past, it was a part of the path_  
_ I feel the love in your hands, boy, when you touch me like that, the way you love every part, you show me my scars are beauty marks_  
_ Beauty marks, oh, they're beauty marks, beauty marks_  
_ Cause you take me as I am, and I take you as you are, with your hard and weathered hands, and the bruises on my heart_  
_ That make me who I am, that make you who you are, baby, when you take my hand, you show me that my scars are beauty marks_

"That good?" Tina laughed

"Better" she smiled her eyes teary

"Don't cry"

"I'm not, I'm just happy, but sad about the situation" she got up telling her "Come on let's go" she grabbed her bags and Tina's arm

**Sam**

Sam had walked in from the top door hoping she'd have her back to the stalls and he could sneak in and listen to the lesson before grabbing her for his planned confrontation. The children were finishing up he was about to make his presence known when Tina appeared on stage, he stood in the dark crevice listening to that conversation he shouldn't have been privy to smiling but sad that he'd just had to prove those same feelings to his Mom less than an hour previous. He understood Tina was being a friend, but he was angry at her trying so hard for their feelings not to be real, the song was amazing, her voice demanded to the listened to, they were both sure this was love, but the situation was difficult, even now he really couldn't see a way around it all. He finally heard the door shut and sat in the nearby chair wondering where to go from there, he needed to get her back home to have this serious conversation about them, but he needed to know what she was going to do about Stevie, if for no other reason than to let the boy know what was going to happen

**Mercy **

"So" Tina finally spoke again when they got in the car "What are you going to do?"

"I guess I'm going home, I need to face him some time and I've made my mind up now, with no influences I might add" she smiled

"I wasn't influencing I was highlighting other sides to this sinario"

"I know you're looking out for me and I appreciate that" she watched Tina start the car to make the journey home, everything seemed brighter today for some reason, maybe it was the clarity she'd just given herself, or even the victory of getting Tina on side or maybe she'd just had a good day but she felt lighter, happier even "I'm going home" she told Tina as they got to her street

"Now?"

"Yeah now, I'll pick my stuff up tomorrow and clean up and stuff"

"Okay" Tina smiled at the breakthrough, dropping her off outside her house "Do you need me to take you in?"

"No I'm fine" she jumped out the car, Tina watching her open the front door before driving off

There was airing to do, the bins to empty and coffee to make, her evening was planned as she threw her bags down and made for her bedroom to strip the bed, she froze at hearing the doorbell, wondering what Tina had forgotten. She went to the window half expecting Tina her other half expecting Sam, surprised to see a blond haired older lady standing at the door "Can I help you?" she asked at the intercom

"Yes I'm looking for a Mercy Jones"

"What do you want?"

"I need to talk to her"

"About?"

"Sorry I didn't say, my Name's Anne, Ann Evans I'm Sam's Mom"

"Oh" Mercy stepped back socked, she'd already told the woman she was in, how the hell was she going to avoid her now, and how the hell did she know where she lived "How did you know where to find me?"

"I followed Sam here a week or so ago, I guessed at which bell"

"I don't want any trouble"

"I'm not here for trouble, I just want to talk"

She was in a dilemma, this was the mother of the man she loved, she wanted to make an impression, but she was also the mother of the bastard that raped her so how was she supposed to communicate with her hostile or what "Come in" she closed her eyes and pressed the buzzer to let her in, wondering what Sam would think of her leaving his Mom standing outside for so long. She walked slowly towards her front door taking her time to open it, unsure what was going to meet her from the other side

"Hi" Sam's smile greeted her, she felt at ease, grabbing the hand the woman offered

"Hi" she smiled back "Pleased to finally meet you"

"He talks about me?" Anne asked shocked

"Not about you, but you're generally on the phone when he's around and he worries about you a lot"

"That's nice to know" Mercy moved to let her into the apartment while she talked

"Please come in, would you like something to drink, eat?" she asked following her in

"Bottled water if you have it" Anne replied

"Sure" Mercy sighed with relief inside, that was about all she had in the fridge "I would have struggled with food if I'm honest, I haven't been home for a week"

"Sam said he hadn't seen you"

"Have a seat, anywhere you want" Mercy suddenly felt like she was on trial here, impress the mother-in-law or be kicked to the fucking curb "I can order in if you feel hungry" she told her watching her find a seat as she walked towards her with the drink in her hand and a glass

"I don't need a glass thanks" she smiled watching Mercy put the glass down before looking around at where to position herself "Please don't be all awkward and stuff around me, I'm not that scary" Anne laughed

"You're Sam's Mother" Mercy rolled her eyes telling her

"Well right now I'm a begging Mother" she reached across and touched her hand telling her "And this isn't about pressure, Sam would kill me"

"He would?" Mercy asked shocked

"God yes, we've begged, pleaded with him to find out what's happening with his brother but he refuses to influence your decision in any way" she stopped to take a breath "And I haven't come for an answer either, I've just come to put my son's point across so you have all sides of the conversation and please, don't get me wrong here, I'm totally against what he did, or was a part of doing to you or any girl, I hate that I have to live with the fact that I failed him, you and women in general, I'm ashamed of him if I'm honest, but he's my son"

"Dilemma" Mercy smiled "I can't lie Sam doesn't even mention his name around me, I didn't ask him to do that, he just never has since he told me.."

"He's a sensitive soul"

"He is" she smiled at the memory of him, suddenly realising it had been a while since she'd actually seen his face

"Anyway" Anne took a sip of her water and replaced the top before she spoke again "He who should not be named" she tapped the lid of the water before carrying on, Mercy smiled it was something Sam did all the while, the woman was nervous "He wasn't brought up wrong, I don't think, I know he was taught right from wrong, they both were, he was being initiated into some gang, it sounds like he was forced to initiate" she smiled "Whichever it was, he had no business doing it, he was horrified, he told me that this leader guy Bugg or something had about 11 of them, they didn't have anything to do with who was picked, they were brought into the woods blindfolded, they were just as shocked as you were about what they were expected to do, they were beaten if they didn't perform, he knew as soon as he saw you he was out of his depth, he, like many of the others I'm sure, never dreamed that Bugg would have them doing stuff like that"

"But they still did it"

"Yeah" she looked up at Mercy her face red with shame "Three of the guys were in hospital for a while afterwards, apparently they said they'd stolen a car and crashed it or something" she grabbed Mercy's hand "He was just a stupid 17 year old, too scared to stand up for himself"

"So was I" Mercy told her, wondering if this woman realised she was making her relive the whole thing in telling her all this

"I'm sorry if I'm bringing this all back for you" Anne touched her arm again

"You are actually" Mercy got up and rubbed her hands across her stomach "I'm staving I need to get some food, are you up for that?"

"Whatever you're having I'm easy" Anne told her watching her get her mobile out to order

"It's going to be pizza I'm afraid, it's my thing" she laughed

"Why am I not surprised about that" Anne laughed, watching Mercy walk around the apartment as she ordered and checked the cupboards "So what's the deal between you two?" she asked when the call closed

"Well all that's a bit up in the air right now, with all this going on" Mercy found her way back to the couch telling her "We started out as mates, it's a joke" she waved her hand smiling "We had a date that wasn't really a date he was helping me overcome some stuff, we decided to call it a mate" she laughed at the memory "But I'm feeling something and I think he is too, I've just asked for some time right now and he's waiting for us to have that conversation"

"What do you want out of that conversation?" Anne asked smiling

"I've just spent a week sorting that out in my head" she smiled "If he'll have me, I guess I'm in for the long haul"

"So I guess we need to get on, because I plan on my relationship with my son being long haul too" Anne laughed "So what do you do, I heard Sam say something about teaching?"

"Yeah 9 and 10 year olds I teach music"

"Oh I'm into music too I guess you wouldn't listen to my stuff" Anne laughed "I think the boys hated being in the car with me the way I used to blast it but I love the old Motown stuff and..."

"Seriously, that's what we listened to at Christmas, I remember Sam saying his favourite song was Sexual healing actually..." she trailed off, thinking no at sharing their love life, which was none-existent with his Mother

"I didn't even know he'd remembered it" she gasped shocked "There's a story" she smiled, both their eyes deflected by the buzzer ringing

"It's the delivery"

"Already?" Anne asked surprised, watching Mercy walk to the door

"Regulars" Mercy giggled, grabbing the pizza and smiling a thank you at the delivery guy "Don't get much fun cooking for one every day, plus after a full days work" she rolled her eyes

"Am I keeping you up?"

"No" she grabbed two plates from the kitchen and came back to the couch "But unless you want Sam to catch you here, I'll need to turn the lights off soon"

"Feel free to turn them off now if you want"

"We can eat first" she opened the box and offered Anne first slice "That's Sam" she told her as she heard the phone ring "Sorry I have to answer it"

"Don't tell him I'm here"

"No if course" she smiled taking the call "Mate" she smiled at hearing his voice "I have news" it was obvious to Anne his voice was just as jolly, she sat eating pizza listening to the one sided conversation, they were both obviously having pizza and sharing what seemed like a ritual for them as they ate and talked about their day "I'm going back home" she told him laughing at his response "After school tomorrow" she cooed into the phone "I miss you so much" she told him looking up remembering his Mom was sitting on the couch "Definitely tomorrow" finally saying bye some twenty minutes later "Sorry" she smiled at Anne "If I'd have cut him short he'd have known something was up"

"That's fine, you love him don't you?"

"I haven't actually told him that yet, I don't know what he's going to say about it"

"He loves you back" Anne smiled

"I know he's told me, it's just all this stuff..."

"You know what, if you want to tell the police tell them, this things got you keeping your whole damn life on hold, I can say what I want to say but the fact still remains that happened to you and my son was a part of it, but I'm sorry I'll be waiting to hug him after he's paid his dews"

"Your his Mom" Mercy got up to get some more water, they finished their meal talking and eventually Anne stood up ready to leave

"Thank you for your time Mercy, you didn't have to see me"

"It was my pleasure I just wished it was under different circumstances"

"Me too, but whatever you choose to do please do it quickly"

"I will" seconds later she was out the door and Mercy was sat thinking about her options again, as she packed the evidence of their meal away she smiled she'd got a plan and if it worked everyone would be happy, she grabbed her phone she needed to talk it through with Artie

**The Next Night**

Sam couldn't wait for work to finish, it seemed like the cue was never going to end, and the closer it got to time for him to get across to Mercy, the less he was listening to his clients "Focus" he told himself when his last client for the day started crying, he hadn't heard a damn word he'd said for the past minute "So what do you think should happen next?" he asked him, clinging on to the last thing he remembered hearing him say, trying not to check his watch again. He finally couldn't wait any longer and closed the session down telling the man to try some basic anger management techniques and book his next appointment, he was tempted to grab his coat and follow the man to the door, but he didn't, he grabbed his phone and made a call instead

"Hey" Mercy's voice made him smile

"Hey, Are you home yet?"

"I'm about 5 minutes away I had to grab my things from Tina's"

"I've just finished my last session, so I'll be there in time to help you unpack"

"Great"

Less than twenty minutes later they were stood in her living room hugging each other, it was strange, even though they'd talked every day and night for the past 9 days they still missed each other and it showed. They opened the bottle of wine he'd brought with him, he grabbed her case and carried it to her bedroom, they set about unpacking her stuff "What did you need this for?" he asked holding up a porcelain heart

"Trying not to break it" she frowned at him

"We need to talk" he sat on her bed unable to wait any longer

"Yeah" she looked around the room "Before we do... I need to tell you something" she sat on the other side of the bed "And don't go mad because it wasn't what you're thinking" she looked up at him smiling "Your Mom came to see me yesterday"

"She did what?" he stood up angry

"Wait" she stretched across and grabbed his hand "She might have come with the intention of talking me round, but she left telling me to call the police, and I did"

"Good for you" he sat down relieved she'd made her decision "Now he'll know where he is"

"It's not quite what you think" she squeezed his hand smiling "I told them about Bugg, that he was the leader, that I thought he was bullying and beating children up to do this stuff for him and he needed to be stopped" she smiled "I also told my brother and yes I dropped his name"

"Mercy he'll get killed" Sam gasped

"That's what he did to me, and that's what he's doing to those children he's getting to do his dirty work, he's a twisted mother fucker and he needs to be stopped"

"I agree" he held his hands up to her "It's your choice, how do you know he forced them?"

"One of them whispered in my ear he said sorry and told me they were forced, I remember that" she told him "I've done it now anyway"

"Fine, I hope you get justice" he smiled "Can we talk about us now?"

"What about us?"

"I told you that I love you and I meant it, is there something going on here for us?"

"Yes there is"

"I have a confession to make too"

"What?"

"I was at the auditorium yesterday I heard you ad Tina.. and the song" he frowned

"So you know I love you back" she got up telling him, walking around the room to unpack her things

"Yeah" he grabbed her hand as she walked past him, as he stood up "Usually when two people say that to each other they..." he grabbed her head by the neck, pulling her face into his, she fell into him and melted, they both groaned at the feeling of their lips touching "Kiss" he pulled away telling her "I love you Mercy Jones"

"I love you Sam Evans" she smiled back at him "But there's just one more thing I need to do before we get into this" she pulled away "Are you going to drive or me?"

"I'll drive, I don't mind, where are we going?"

"To face some demons" she told him, throwing her dressing gown on the bathroom door hook before she made for the bedroom door "Come on" they sat in the car, engine on, Sam waiting for instructions "To your Mom's house" she told him holding her finger up signalling she wanted no questions, he put his foot down and drove, Marvin Gaye blasting out as they happily sang along, Sam was in a zone, she hadn't agreed to be his girl yet but at least he knew she felt the same. He was maybe just a mile away when his mind jumped into gear, Stevie was going to be home, he'd taken to living in his bedroom since his fate was to be determined by a phone call

"Mercy, my brother's going to be there" he turned to tell her

"I know" she smiled grabbing his hand "It will be fine" she smiled at him, getting more nervous the closer they got, she let herself out the car when t came to a stop, for fear of him turning the damn thing around and taking her back

"Anything.. I mean anything that upsets you we're out of here" he warned, she nodded agreement as he went round to grab her had and walk her into the house

**Sam's Mom's House**

"Sam is that you?" his Mom's voice rang through the house, Mercy was busy nosing around at the antiques, spiral staircase, paintings and stuff in the hall

"Yes it's me" he shouted back before bursting through the door

"I keep expecting the police and..." she trailed off as she turned to see Mercy standing there, she smiled for a second before she remembered she wasn't supposed to know her

"I know you went to her house Mom, we don't have secrets, not anymore"

"Anne" Mercy smiled "I'm sorry, I have this thing about lies and stuff I had to tell him"

"It's fine, nobody died" she told them frowning at them looking at each other suspiciously

"Is Stevie around?" Mercy asked shocking the two of them, that was the first time shed said his name since all this had come out

"Yeah sure, Sam go get him" Sam moved off to do as he'd been told but he just stood at the bottom of the stairs and shouted his brother "Get down here" he ordered watching a depressed Stevie slowly descend "Someone to see you" he told him as he hit ground level

"The police?"

"No" Sam pushed him into the kitchen

"What the fu…" he burst into the kitchen with the force of his brother's push, failing to finish his sentence because he knew their Mom was in there "What's up Mom.." he asked looking across the room in shock at the girl from that night standing in their kitchen "Mercy" he gasped his legs gave way as Sam caught him "This doesn't even come close to what I want to say I'm lost for words" he walked towards her stopping as he watched her backing away "I'm truly sorry, they forced us.."

"That was you wasn't it?" she looked at him

"Yeah I was one of the guys" he looked at her wondering why she needed to hear him say that

"No I mean on that night, you were the guy that apologised weren't you?"

"Yeah" his chest deflated "I couldn't think of anything else to say, sorry"

"You let me know it was over, and I was still alive" she smiled "We need to talk" she looked at the dinning table in the centre to the kitchen "Can we?" she pointed to the chairs

"Sure" Sam sat him down to listen to what she had to say, Stevie and his Moms shocked with the abuse take Mercy had come up with,

"So" she finished with "All I need from you is Buff's real name and a promise that you'll get as many of those boys that were with you that night, to come forward and tell their story" she smiled at him "You or I weren't the first, and we won't be the last if we don't fight to stop him"

"Why are you doing this for me?" he asked unsure if he could trust it

"Because you were a victim too" she touched his arm telling him, Sam smiled, she'd healed something in doing that "Plus I'm a teacher I make men and women not brake them" she smiled "And well your brother's kind of cute, and we love each other" she looked over at Sam stood with his Mom "Did I mention, one of us is moving house, soon, so you have to be around to help with that"

"His name's Daniel Foster I think, or Forrester something like that"

"It's going to take me a while to be alright with being around you, that's how things are for me, but I promise I'll try" Mercy told him

"I can wait for as long as you need" Stevie told her

"Abused?" Anne went to Stevie concerned "I've never thought..."

"I have a friend who just happens to be brilliant lawyer, he helped me come up with it"

"Tina?" Sam asked

"Her husband" she told him "I need to get home I have work to do before school tomorrow" she got up and said bye to Anne and Stevie

"I'm so proud of you" Sam told her as they got to the car

"I want to be fully committed to you Sam and I don't think that can happen if I'm the person who puts your brother in prison or splits your family up" she got in the car as she spoke

"I'm totally committed" he sat in the drivers seat telling her "Cheating of any kind is totally out, we talk if it comes up"

"Agreed" she smiled watching him start the car and move off "Church on a Sunday morning is a must for me, you can come if you want"

"I like running on Sunday morning so that won't be a regular thing" he replied

"Fine"

"Sex can wait until you're ready, and I'm up for it whenever you say yes" he looked at her as he spoke

"Watch the road" she told him embarrassed "If this works out I don't want to be sitting on the shelf for years waiting for you to find a better model"

"Are we talking marriage?"

"Commitment Sam, it's all a part of what I call commitment"

"Are you afraid I'll fall out of love with you or something?" he asked shocked

"It can happen, it's happened before for both of us"

"Not with each other" he grabbed her hand telling her

"Are we sure about that?"

"Positive" he gripped her hand tighter "I know I said sex was up to you and everything but..."

"I was going to say it's on the cards" she grinned at him "Lets get home" she giggled, they were both grinning all the way to her house, the car stopped, they both jumped out, rushing towards the front door "Did you lock the car?" she asked as she fiddled with the key "Check" she told him knowing his silence meant no, he pressed the remote and locked it

"Hurry up" he told her watching her fiddle with the door

"I'm going as fast as I can" she pushed the door open and turned to smile at him "Come on" she grabbed his hand, she was so up for this, she surprised herself at how up for it she was

"Mercy" he pulled away from her, feeling her tension "It's fine, we can go as slow, or as fast as your comfortable with here" he wiped her face, bringing to her attention she was crying

"I.." she wiped her face, she pulled away from him "I don't think I'm ready, I …"

"It's fine" he pulled her to him telling her "As slow as you need"

"I keep getting flashbacks, Emma said I would but I..."

"It's fine" he hugged her wiping more tears "This is fine" he walked her over to the couch and sat with her in his arms, he was bursting, but right now that wasn't important, he'd dealt with this in the office so many times, it was time for him to take a page out of his own book "Drink?"

"Yeah" she smiled up at him as he eased his arm out from around her to fetch them "I guess we can have your music on seeing as you said yes tonight" he laughed starting her player before grabbing the two glasses of wine, and making his way back to the couch while her R&B grooves came at them

"Change it if you want"

"It's fine" Sam smiled sitting down"We're fine just relax"

"I'm trying"

"Don't stress honestly, it's fine" he stroked her hair off her face giving her the glass

"I'm not a prude or anything"

"It will happen when we're both ready" he assured her

"Okay" she smiled laying in his lap, they lay listening to the music until they fell asleep on the couch

**The Next Day **

"Mercy" Sam whispered waking her up "Stevie just called, eight of them went to the police last night, it's started"

"I feel like I'm about to start my life again" she giggled nervously curling into him, the news was overwhelming, the realisation of what was ahead hit her she started crying for a glimpse of the end of a very long nightmare

_**"Cause baby there ain't no mountain high enough..." **_he sang in her ear _**"Ain't no valley low enough..."**_

_**"Ain't no river wide enough to keep me away from you babe..." **_they both sang, Mercy forcing a smile, a new, different, happier version of life was on it's way for them, but this time they were in it together.


End file.
